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    • #17617
      Angels wings
      Participant

      (date removed by moderator) I told him I want is to seperate. He hardly said anything just ok. He then tried to carry on as if o hadn’t said anything, normal conversation about DIY. I don’t think he thinks I was serious. Or he was trying to throw me by making it trivial do I question myself and back down. I now have to think about how on earth I’m going to do thi with pets and children. So many rented properties won’t take pets and anyone on benefits. It’s very daunting how do you tell your children too ?

    • #17619
      Falling Skys
      Participant

      Hi AW

      Well done for saying you want to separate.

      Is there anyway you can stay in the family home and he leaves?

      If you contact your local woman aid group they will be able to help you re house.

      Sadly you may have to put you pets up for adoption those some areas where there are foster homes for pets till you can have them back.

      And of course he’s ignoring what you said he probably thinks you’re having an over rought moment. But stay strong and be careful this is when they can become more aggressive as they are lossing control of the situation.

      FS xx

    • #17630
      Angels wings
      Participant

      Our house situation is complicated, I’d have to move out anyway or buy the house we are living in, which I’m not in a position to do on my own.
      I’m not concerned that he will get physical, he’s doing the usual pretending it’s not happening then he will lay on the charm to try to win me round and try to bring up the “good times” and children. Then when that doesn’t work I expect the silent treatment and nasty comments will happen. I just need to keep strong. I’ve blocked him on Social media already which I’ve never done before. It’s all scary but I think calling women’s aid would be a good idea thanks for the advice x

    • #18011
      bunsandcakes
      Participant

      Hi there,

      I am in exactly the same boat, your second post would be word for word how I would describe my own situ and his response. I hope things work out for you. Ive found a house I’d like to rent but Im not sure I can afford it at the moment so I’m still in limbo. Wish we could fast forward to being in our own homes with our babies feeling happy 🙁

    • #18013
      lover of no contact
      Participant

      Just wanted to say you ladies are so brave. I wish I’d had the awareness that you have and the plan to escape the abusive relationship, when my children were babies. I stayed for 2 decades so my many children were reared within an abuse cycle. They are young adults and the damage done to them from me staying (we are the only ones who can stop the cycle of abuse, as the abuser does not, he likes the abuse cycle) is so painful for me to watch now.

      I eventually left when my oldest was a teenager. At least I did leave and even though my children are still in denial of the abuse, I have sent a very strong message that I was no longer going to be tolerated being abused.

      Keep planning to leave the abusive relationship for your own precious self and the precious lives of your children during their most formative years.

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