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    • #44914
      itmustbemesurely
      Participant

      I’d had enough of being called a stroppy b@tch, about being questioned why I didn’t want him, who did I want, who was I talking to when I was out…the anger, the drinking so I said I think it’s better if you go, I am not putting up with this anymore. He went, but when I woke the following morning he was back. I said again that unless things changed and he got help then our marriage was over…he was crying but I stuck to my guns and told him to stay away for the night at least. He did, but the text messages were cries for help, he has what the GP thinks in bipolar and has refused to get help, last week his was manic, this weekend low and maudlin, threatened suicide, even drove to a local suicide spot adn tagged himself there on facebook…I said to come home, I couldn’t risk that could I…I would never live with myself….he is calling the wellbeing team today for an emergency appointment..and to start the process, he said its been is wake up call…I said that I care and love him and will support him but can not see us having a relationship right now, that our relationship is not healthy, that I can not and will not go on….no idea if I am doing the right thing, but have to get him on the path to wellness, even if I am not with him…I may be wrong, but boy there is no going back x*x

    • #44923
      Confused123
      Participant

      HI Hun

      use the excuse that he needs help for you two to seperate and u have no contact , donot take responsibiltiy for him , i did the same for mine, they dont apprecaite and dotn change , let him work through his issues, let him cry if he has to but do not fall for the act,as long as we are around they take advantage of us and abuse us . Personally if he threatens to kill himself again, say let the polcie or your family knoe, hiopefully by then u will be doing no contact,my ex used to say i will commit sucide too, i had to be very strong to ignore , its his life and his choice , u should be concerned for your life , might sound harsh but is truth, 1% of them go throughh with it , 99% of them just say to see if we stick out with them

    • #44955
      itmustbemesurely
      Participant

      He is bankrupt now I have a letter giving me 21 days to decide wether to buy him out or agree to sell the property….I’m crying with stress whilst he sleeps like a baby snoring in bed

    • #44956
      Dragonfly
      Participant

      My ex also posted on fb he was going to throw the black dog off the cliff. Sorry but it’s a lot of absolute nonsense. You are not responsible for him. It’s all part of their plan, believe me they almost always have a plan and it’s never in your favour for very long. If he was suicidal it wouldn’t be because of you, try to think of yourself as the third person, on the outside looking in.

      Sorry if I sound harsh, it just took me a long time to wake up to his mental illness. He too was diagnosed with all sorts, the last one being the true ‘illness’. Can’t say what it is on here. He chose to do nothing about it. Try going no contact for your own sanity.

    • #44964
      Confused123
      Participant

      Hey hUn

      Have a good cry, get it out of your system, then start writing down all your options if you could afford to buy him out, could u sell the property and buy soemthing cheaper, if u struggle to get morgage could you get a gurantor, call the debt advice line and see what your options are , could u do a debt plan but
      keep house , visit citisen advice bureau, call womens right line and see if they can advise u of options

    • #44977
      itmustbemesurely
      Participant

      Thanks confused, I’m on my own trying to sort it out as he ‘can’t face it’ I have a matter of weeks to sort it out, am confused with the legal jargon and I’m in a real state… I’m too grieving at the end of my marriage, I didn’t think it would end like this, every time I stick up for myself he threatens all sorts it’s a mess. The equity in the house won’t be enough to buy anywhere sadly it’s all so confusing I need support myself but know that I can never expect anything from him or his family

    • #44981
      Confused123
      Participant

      hey hun

      at least u tryign to deal with it,sounds so much like my ex just leave u to do it all, can only think get support around you, i find if you have a support worker they can guide you to

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