- This topic has 3 replies, 3 voices, and was last updated 2 years, 4 months ago by stuckwithnoclue.
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12th November 2021 at 8:58 am #133918stuckwithnoclueParticipant
So quick story but bear with, I will get to my point….
Seperated from my ex partner (detail removed by moderator) and it’s been no contact as I blocked him on everything but he also has bail not to as I reported him for rape along with his n**********c behaviour. Anyways, I’ve recently made a new male friend and although it is very early days I am scared that I will get too attached too soon, fall into same trap and be a complete mess about being trusting etc. Should I just stay clear of all men until I feel better or explain to him to see if he’ll support me in potentially being apprehensive about stuff Inc being intimate?
I am not sure how to start feeling ok about this and feel he still has this hold of me cos he hurt me so bad 🙁
TIA xx -
12th November 2021 at 10:29 am #133926EyesopeningParticipant
Hey,
I really would recommend reading ‘Boundaries After a Pathological Relationship’ By Adelyn Birch, its about 7pounds on Amazon. It’s more like a handbook to always keep handy. It’s so essential it’s the best book for moving on and gaining strength to protect yourself in all relationships.
Especially after an abusive relationship. Abuser’s break down our walls/boundaries and make us vulnerable. Be very careful I would say, make sure you read up on all red flags possible. There are tons of youtube vids on them. I also heard once you should not tell a new partner about an abusive relationship in the past incase they use this as a weapon against you, wait until you know for sure this person is safe and not an abuser.
(careful leaving your name at the end there)
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12th November 2021 at 4:09 pm #133935WhyohwhyParticipant
Have you done the freedom program? I am waiting to do it. I think women’s aid might be able to help you find your nearest one. I think it’s supposed to help you to not get in the same situation again.
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12th November 2021 at 10:38 pm #133953stuckwithnoclueParticipant
Hello @eyesopening, thank you for your recommendation on the book, I have just bought it!
Hello @whyohwhy, I haven’t heard of this programme but interested about it. Thank you
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