I wish I never told anyone

[Toofarr]

I wish and wish I never told anyone about what’s going on even up to recently because I feel nothing but judgment, shame and really just embarrassed. People gave up being my friend, never even tried being there for me. They got fed up. All gave up because they didn’t understand why I just won’t leave.

All judgment for still being in this position. I feel embarrassed every single day. I just desperately wanted someone to hear me, to help me. I know now, only I can help myself. Can’t help but feel so pathetic not just as a person but as a mother. What kind of mother am I ? Still here after all he’s done and said. Putting our child through it. I am pathetic.

[Lisa]

Hi Toofarr,

Thank you for sharing with us. I hope it has helped to offload here in a safe space about how you are feeling. You haven’t done anything to cause the abuse- the embarrassment or shame is not yours. You are not pathetic, only he has caused the abuse and this situation. You deserve so much better.

If you feel it would help to chat things through then do remember our Live Chat service is available every day until 6pm. The Support Workers won’t judge you or tell you what to do. They will understand how difficult and overwhelming this all is. You can access the chat service here.

Do keep posting when you can. We are here for you.

Best wishes,

Lisa

[Mysticunicorn20]

i feel like i should never have shared my abuse.  my gp refered me to my mental health nurse who when she found out everything moved me to someone else who refereed me to the local DV centre who i feel just arent listening to me,

[Ricepudding]

I wish I hadn’t told any one every time I get passed onto someone else they then tell me I’m in crisis then have to wait 6 to 8 weeks to be passed on to someone else who tells me to do breathing exercises tells me I’m not on my own who then thinks everything is OK or passes me on to someone else who tells me I’m in crisis tells me I’m not on my own then wait  6 to 8 weeks to do breathing exercises and told I’m not on my own so I hate it when people say your not on your own I hate it when they tell you your in crisis while all the time you are tring to get out find somewhere to live walking on egg shells and keep a full-time job keep house and put all his needs first because he’s coercive but it ok play some water music and breath smile and listen to all the hurtful things he says to while he follows you round to work all the time playing the victim and making other see you as the monster

[Ricepudding]

Hi Toofarr I hear what you say I understand how that all feels x*x

[swanlake]

Thinking of everyone feeling not heard and passed around. I really hope that you can get the support that we all deserve.

I waited many months for therapy on the NHS and my biggest memory of it is breathing exercises. I wondered what the point was, how breathing in a particular way was going to help when I have suffered so much.

I now understand that it’s to do with calming my nervous system in the moment, like when I do physically active hobbies that I’ve taken up over the last few years to use my body differently, soothe myself and get through the unpleasantness in life.

[Stargazing1]

I am so glad this topic has been brought up . My heart goes out to all member here who have posted about how they wished they hadn’t told anyone.  It is rubbish when we feel guilty for sharing.  I wish none of you felt like this I really do .    I’m feeling exactly the same.  I empathise with you all here . I wish for brighter days ahead for you all here . Please take care of yourselves and please be kind to yourselves.

[Author]

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