I’d say it’s a bad day, but really it’s a bad life

[Zoey]

I’ve never used an online forum or any means of chatting before but I really really don’t want to feel so isolated and alone anymore.

Venting in 3.2.1….

He is an awful person. Used to be my best friend. Or maybe that was years of being naive. Now, I’m seriously confused about where I lost the plot. Why don’t I kick him out? Why deal with someone who yells, hits falls or doors, name calls, gaslights me, tries to hurt my feelings and more? I know indeserve better but it seems I won’t do the next hard things to act on that. We have kids who are young but they know he is mean and have told him to leave us all alone before. I wish It wasn’t so expensive to live. He isn’t a great provider by far, but its so expensive where we live that if he runs off we will be struggling a ton, both financially and for child care because we don’t have many ppl we can rely on for childcare. I’m truly exhausted. I just need to find my inner strength, nake a solid plan and do whatever needs to be done to free us from his orbit because this cannot be my life. 😭

[Lisa]

Hi Zoey,

Welcome to the forum and thank you for your post. I hope you find the forum a safe and supportive place to be with others who understand. What you’ve described about not being able to take the next steps is so common with domestic abuse, for a variety of reasons (fear, finances, the strong bond that can be formed by the cycle of abuse). What’s important is that you are reaching out now, so try to be kind to yourself. It is normal to need support to leave and you deserve to have this.

If you need any guidance on using the forum you can find this in the Forum Guidelines and FAQs. If they don’t answer your question then please feel free to message me.

If you feel like you are in need of some additional support, you could chat to a Women’s Aid worker in confidence via our Live Chat service. They won’t tell you what to do, but can discuss your situation and signpost you to other support that’s relevant for you.

Do keep posting to let us know how you’re getting on.

Best wishes,

Lisa
(Forum Moderator)

[Zoey]

Thank you Lisa

[EvenSerpentsShine]

I’m sure you are right to reflect on what you need to do and prepare in advance for it, because it’s not easy, you’re right.

It’s really expensive to live, and it’s emotionally tough to leave too. (I mean, not as emotionally tough as staying of course! But even so). It’s probably more difficult in the short term, let’s put it that way.
I really feel for you, it’s horrible how this sneaks up on you isn’t it?, and all of a sudden you’ve become unrecognizable to yourself, in a life you never imagined could happen to you.

[sfspace]

I’m also new here. Just would like to share what I have also been experiencing. It’s almost like life is not good but not too bad before meeting this person. Nothing good has come out of the situation I have had with him. Feel like my whole life was taken over by him which has been emotionally exhausting. Taken me away from family friends and everything I had before this person. Life is so hard but having someone who put you down so much and not knowing how to get up

[Author]

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