This topic contains 5 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by  Soulsearcher18 4 days, 22 hours ago.

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  • #111250
     lostandbroken 
    Participant

    I haven’t been around for while I’ve been trying to get on with things. So I’ve now had the baby, he was great during birth and week after in hospital, supported and cared for
    Me. Was really a nice experience, I wish I’d of listened to absolutely everyone on here and kept him away. I just couldn’t bring myself not to have him at the birth.

    Since being out of hospital he’s literally discarded me again, with 2 babies and section recovery, not in any way was this romantic for me I have no intentions of ever getting back with him, but I was so happy that he finally cared for me as a person. Not even (removed by moderator) home and he turned on me. So once again my third party is mediating. I just don’t have the physical nor emotional strength to put up with him.

    It was a section, so my recovery at home has been and still is tough with my toddler to tend to as well. He has initially promised to support me at home after birth as well, didn’t take long for his mask to slip!! Typical narc 💔

  • #111264
     Soulsearcher18 
    Participant

    Hi Lostandbroken
    Firstly, congratulations on the birth of your little one.
    I want to say welcome back but for it not to sound off, a big hearted welcome.
    You know we’re not going anywhere right? There will always be someone here to have your back I am sure of that.
    I am sorry to hear of what has happened but actually glad to hear that he’s not around if he’s not reliable.
    It must be really tough managing with toddler and baby, especially with section.
    What support do you have around you? Are you managing to get much sleep/rest- really silly question I bet but it makes the World of difference I know.
    Will catch up later tomorrow now but I hope you’re ok, I’ll check back in here tomorrow. take care

    Soulsearcher

  • #111297
     lostandbroken 
    Participant

    Aww thanks for your lovely words it really means a lot.

    Just feeling a lot of the baby blues at the moment, his world wins friendship is greatly missed but It was all an act, I guess ‘love bombing’. Sucked me right in, but I’m not feeling the romance of it, he was just really kind and supportive never left my side.

    We had a meeting at my home, his third patty and my third party here too to come up with some plans for the children. He literally never stopped his abuse in front of them. Told me he thinks I was u see the illusion that I wanted him back, I think more like he was waiting for me to cave and tell him I love him. No chance would I ever give him that satisfaction.
    Then had the nerve to ask can we do a deal on child support 😂

    He’s showing me his true colours time and time again, and it’s now time to believe it for myself and now the pressure of birth is out the way I can now fully recover and move forward.

    Xx

  • #111301
     Sleepy 
    Participant

    Congratulations on the birth of your baby.

  • #111305
     iliketea 
    Participant

    Big congratulations on the baby! So sorry for what has happened since though. Sending you a big big hug. Just rest as much as you can, 24 hours screen time fine for toddler if you need to rest and get that section better. Sleep when they all sleep, forget housework, try and eat fruit and veg to stay healthy, loads of water and lots of treats. You’re doing fine. He’s obviously a d***head! Xx

  • #111328
     Soulsearcher18 
    Participant

    That’s it, focus on you and the babies and recovery. Take as much time as you can and as you need.

    There is lots of support out there, you do have to ask for it and I know it differs from area to area but there’s professional support from Women’s Aid through the website and phone line, local DA support, there’s also parenting support from Local authority- not Social Services but early help and depending on what friends and family you have around you-it’s well worth checking out what’s available. You’ll have your health visitor too. There’s your GP and counselling too.

    Of course you may not need any of this but we are in really strange times at the moment aren’t we and it’s not so easy to see friends and meet new people just now so just wanted to mention some of the support that can help. Obviously, you’ve already got a little one so I’m sorry if I’m telling you stuff you already know!

    You’re always able to jump on here anytime too, that’s the beauty of forum- you can write something when you get chance and know that you’re going to get a response and some support.

    I’m sending you speedy recovery wishes and wishing you all the best. Look forward to hearing how you are getting on.

    Soulsearcher

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