I’m back to square one

[Goingthroughit]

Ok so he still has his own place he’s renting and told me he will never stop having his own home even though we have been together years
Anyway my question is we have been attempting to be back together for what two days I stayed with a relative this weekend and he looks after the dog basically the dogs does something and I need to bath the dog so I go home do all of that then blowdry him then I’m picking up poo cooking for my child jumping in the shower when I see that he is asleep I say is that all you do can’t you help
Is that me starting or being abusive I then when on to say everyone else went out for valentines and all the problems we’ve been having o thought you might have at least got me a card I always get him one but this year I didn’t I then went on to say all my friends have kids when they want and live how they want and you deprive me of another child because you say I’m always at my mums or my sisters am I now being abusive I question myself is it now me he then leaves to go work and texts oh because of you I had an argument with two customers how is that my fault please help me I’m going mental

[Anonymous]

No. You are standing up for yourself, asking not to be treated like his servant. My ex used to do nothing in the house and garden even though I worked full time and he was unemployed. He then used to moan to everyone about how I never cooked fir him. He forgot to mention that when I did cook, he’d never eat it. So I just gave up trying. Yiu can never win with these men, no matter what you do. They use criticism to control you. Then deflection to make you think you’re the problem. You’re worth more than that.

[Goingthroughit]

Thanks for your reply I just feel like I get there and then he comes back and the abuse cycle starts again I thought I was strong but I’m obviously very would t say weak but just trying to keep everything normal for my toddler because well I hate that her father is who he is I feel so stuck and I feel guilt when I want to leave
I am taking steps though I’m following my dream career I’m trying to lose weight and have al these new trendy treatments wasn’t allowed to have my eyebrows done before but I DO what I want now so I guess slowly slowly
The thing is I just want him to find someone and leave me alone that would be such a good thing for me I can’t be me when he’s with me I’m a shell of a person

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