One of my older siblings came to visit us and although she is sympathetic and understands what he was like, her and my grandma (who she lives with) want me and another sibling of mine to apologise to my grandma for how we spoke to her (detail removed by Moderator) years ago even though they know and we’ve told them that it was the person who abused me who twisted everything and made us behave hostile to our grandma and other adult members of the family.
We have to apologise because culturally, young people aren’t supposed to disrespect their elders. This just makes me feel quite upset and angry because it suggests that I did something wrong and I was somewhat at fault. My behaviour was out of character at the time but we were teenagers and no other adult members of our family helped us. Being the adults, I just expected them to understand and actually apologise TO US for not being there for us or for not intervening but it just feels like people in my extended family blame me for what happened.
Bearing in mind that I suffered abuse by this same guy from my teens years all the way through to adulthood untill i made my police disclosure, Am I being unreasonable to expect my grandma and other members of my family to apologise to ME rather than the other way round?