I’m feeling so low

[Cantmakedecisons]

Today I’m feeling so low. I’m not sure if it’s lack of sleep or just my mood but I feel like I’m losing it..

I’ve left, I’m out but he still continues to occupy every second of mind. If I’m not feeling scared then I’m feeling depressed and confused. Having to be on constant high alert is so draining.

How am I suppose to start moving forward and feeling normal when it’s all still too much?

I’m an emotional mess and feel like I’m drowning in my own misery.

I know I should just ‘man up’ but I’m finding it so difficult to see any positives.

[Darcy]

Hi my beautiful Angel,
Its ok to feel like you do, don’t make it worse by not allowing yourself to feel these emotions. You have been through a lot so it’s going to take time to process and there will be good days and bad days… but just as the rain has to stop, so do your tears.
How you are feeling is totally normal. You may think you haven’t moved forward today but just sit a while and think how far you have come from this time last week, last month, last year and on top of that we have all coped with a year of lockdown.
My darling you are doing great and you will be OK, go gentle on yourself today, maybe some fresh air and a nice bath or shower and then get yourself some nice nourishing food and snuggle up and take care of yourself… be your own best friend today … what would you tell her to do?
Sending you love and support
Darcy xx

[Sleepypigeon]

Hi can’t make decisions.
Just wanted to say I understand and your not on your own with these feelings. I struggle a lot with the same, lack of sleep and continual thoughts of what’s past and what may still happen.
I am free but the smear campaign continues. Its hard not to feel low, and it is hard everyday and so incredibly draining. I get angry also that he gets to move on, as nothing has happened and I’m left like a fish out of water flapping around looking to make sense of this mess. Trying to take my mind of things by reading, watching TV when I can concentrate as well as working and taking care of kids. But at night when it’s quiet and I’m trying to sleep my mind starts whirring like a washing machine on spin cycle. I have been listening to meditation podcasts to try and free my mind and allow me to sleep, sometimes it works. Be kind to yourself, you are stronger and braver than you give yourself credit for x

[Cantmakedecisons]

Thank you both for your replies.

It hasn’t helped that (detail removed by Moderator) that all my children are at his (our old address) having roast dinner, whilst I’m sitting here feeling like I’m the one in the wrong.

Believe me when I say I had no choice but to leave and I couldn’t take anymore! I often question that but I know in reality it was leave or die.

It’s early days I suppose but I just wish I felt stronger and braver instead it’s miserable and lonely.

[Nancy]

Hi I feel so very low today, I can’t stop crying. I picked my phone up to write a message and it’s some kind of relief to find others had already written what I was struggling to write down. I have increased the dose of antidepressants and am anxious I can’t take a higher dose now and feel as though I am not coping. Everything is overwhelming and everything is too much. I am constantly on high alert its totally exhausting.

[Cantmakedecisons]

Nancy.. I’m sorry your feeling the way I am, it’s tough isn’t it!?

All I can say is what I’m saying to myself..that tomorrow is another day and right now although it’s s**t, I have hope that it won’t always be like this.

[Eggshells]

Hi hon,

You have had so much to deal with and the situation you are in now is so unjust. It’s not surprising you are feeling low. You are moving forward now, you’ve come so far since last summer. Are you getting to see much of your daughter? Lots of cuddles to be had there.

It will get better but we know it is a long journey. Keep taking it one day at a time and please stay in touch. xx

[Anonymous]

Hey i hope you’re having a better today. I understand how you feel and I have ended up being prescribed antidepressants because at times I felt suicidal and no way forward. But there always is a way forward and the antidepressants have taken the edge off it, I’m able to function and even exercised today – made me feel like me again! Could you have a chat with it doctor about support? Sending you hugs and love x*x

[Nancy]

Thank you for your support. I feel awful. The tears just come. Today I started crying at work but pretended I had been sneezing. I just want to run away. The case is possibly going to court, it will be sent to the CPS any day, guess I am just worrying. I had been doing ok, but I feel very low. I am really struggling to keep going at work. It’s draining constantly putting on a brave face and masking how you really feel.

[Bettertimesahead]

Hi Nancy
Do you feel you could talk to anyone at work? In my case I was off for several months and I opened up to my team,glad I did as there have been more incidents and they have been nothing but supportive. I know you need to be in the right place to talk though.

[Nancy]

Hi, unfortunately not. I did open up ladt summer and they were supportive. Then he sent an embarrassing letter to my employer and they have totally switched. Work used to feel like a safe haven, not anyone I constantly dread another letter. Plus my employer has since referred me to occupational health due to my poor memory, accused me of (detail removed by moderator), been negative about my written work. In the past, I have been praised by several employers for the fact that I get on with everyone and the high quality of my work. Now, I also dread the next criticism from my employer, and I really struggle just to walk through the door, and hold it altogether. If I am still on antidepressants after a year, my employer will refer me again to occupational health as this will be classified as a disability.

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