I’m finally getting help

[Minimrs]

Hello IV been with my husband for (detail removed by moderator) years married for (detail removed by moderator). I have five children 4of them are his and they eldest he took on as his own. He started picking on and calling mmy eldest child names searing hat him (detail removed by moderator)years ago it crept in slowly getting worse. Until he had him by the throat up the wall. I should have rang the police that day but he had a way of talking me around. He smashed his controller to his xbox and was calling him the lodger. I had enough and split up with him. He refused to go anywhere and talked me around to get back with him. One month later he got aggressive again he put his fist through my son’s TV and broke the keyboard to hi. Pc which he needed for college. I sent my son down to his man’s house for his own safety because he threatend to punch his teeth out. I split up with him again and he won’t move out everyday he accuses me of cheating on him. He has shouted in my face called me names and made me feel threatened. I’m now on antidepressants because of him. I finally got the courage to tell the police today what has been happening. They want to come and talk to me and my son I’m a bit scared of what is going to happen now and I feel a bit sorry for my husband and for the other kids I wish it wasn’t like this we did once have a lovely family but he ruined it.

[KIP.]

Please don’t feel sorry for your husband. He is an adult and chooses to behave this way. Abuse in childhood haunts the child for the rest of their life and can resurface in adulthood and be very destructive. Please get good counselling for your children and don’t expose them to any more child abuse. Which is what it’s called when they’re exposed to abuse like this. Report everything to the police and take all the help you can get. Ask them to remove him from the home and if they won’t then get an occupation order to have him removed. Speak to your local women’s aid for support x

[Minimrs]

Thank you for replying he is in a low mood today and depressed he expects me to hug him and make him feel better. I feel bad for him when he is like this and it make it hard for me to make plans to get him out.

[KIP.]

Depression doesn’t cause someone to grab a child by the throat. He is an abuser. He chooses to abuse. Would he have grabbed his throat if there were witnesses outside the home? He can control himself when he wants to. Don’t let him use mental illness as an excuse for domestic violence and abuse. Feel bad for your children and yourself who are the real victims.

[KIP.]

He probably senses you’re distancing yourself from him and is upping his emotional manipulation. Don’t fall for it.

[KIP.]

Do you have support from women’s aid? Call your local one for support through this. You can’t handle an abuser alone x

[Iwantmeback]

I’m so pleased to hear you are getting help. You’ve been so very brave reaching out to the forum. Have you also spoke with your doctor about what had been going on, the more professionals know the better it is. It’s awful that feeling of betraying them but at the end of the day they don’t think twice about how they treat us. Stay strong and keep posting. Mum oh has ruined my older children’s lives. thanks to the WA programme I’ve recently done I know I can’t fix them, I can only be there when they want me around, and not as a never ending cash machine. I won’t let them emotionally manipulate me now either.
Bug hugs and much love to you and all your children. I promise once he’s out of your lives you’ll be able to breath again. I won’t lie and say it’ll be a bed of roses but somethings are worth going through this. Our sanity, health and happiness being those things.
Love and light mo charaid(My friend) IWMB 💞💞

[Author]

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