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    • #116664
      Hetty
      Participant

      Hello ladies, to those still stuck in the nightmare and those who have taken the next step. I’m finally out. It’s taken years to get to this point but I’ve finally left. I’ve been lucky that a house became vacant that belongs to my relatives so it was literally now or never.
      I packed up what I could in my car and left with my child.
      I’m terrified of what lies ahead in terms of sorting finances, setting up home again etc.
      I just kept hearing him calling me a c*^t ringing in my ears this week and I just couldn’t take anymore. Worst mistake of my life moving in with him and it’s going to take time to forgive myself ❤️

    • #116667
      Lottieblue
      Participant

      Oh Hetty well done…
      I also had that “now or never” moment and just jumped. It’s all still very fresh so the only words of wisdom I feel able to offer you are build up your support. The people who love you will love and support you – let them. You have been so brave, I was too, it’s ok to lean. And when everybody said “be kind to yourself” I made sure I was. It makes all the difference. And don’t be scared. Nothing can be as bad as what you have left behind you.

      Sending you love.
      LB X*X

    • #116670
      Hetty
      Participant

      Thanks so much. You’re right about nothing being bad as what I was living in. Every day was a living nightmare. There’s just so much to sort out and with COVID lockdown it’s even more more challenging with working from home etc. I’m trying hard to think about the here and now and not be getting into the ‘what ifs. I’m struggling to sleep tonight in nee surroundings and a head full of thoughts.

    • #116672
      KIP.
      Participant

      You’ve nothing to forgive yourself for. Don’t carry that guilt because then he won’t have to. You’re correcting that mistake you made now for you and your child. Power to you 💪
      How do you eat an elephant? One teaspoon at a time 💕

      • #116673
        Hetty
        Participant

        Thanks kip. As always, such wise words. Any advice for next steps would be appreciated. We are married, child is mine so no contact issues thankfully, house in his name but I’ve contributed half of everything. I know getting any furniture out is going to be impossible because he won’t be fair. Thinking just cut my loses x

    • #116674
      Fudgecake
      Participant

      Well done Hetty,
      Here’s wishing you peace, love and happiness in your future life , all of which are now possible! Yes, it will be scary and you’ll have a rollercoaster of emotions but it will be worth it. I only wished I hadn’t worried so much about the future when I left. All I was doing was torturing myself. We only really have today so enjoy it. The future will take care of itself. Feel the freedom x

      • #116679
        Hetty
        Participant

        I have to go back to the house to get stuff. I’m dreading it. Already had tears from him on the phone this morning 😭 wish me luck. My heart is breaking 💔

    • #116688
      Lisa
      Main Moderator

      Hi Hetty,

      Great to hear you and your child have left and have a safe place to live. Thank you for sharing with us. Take care and give yourself time to adjust to your new life.

      Do you have support to collect your belongings? Please do not return without support in place or police involvement as it can be a really risky time.

      Keep posting to us when you can, it can really help to offload on here.

      Best wishes,

      Lisa

    • #116689
      Hetty
      Participant

      I’ve been back as many times as I could this weekend to fill my car and get main things out. He’s still in shock I’ve left and is on the sorry for himself stage so o thought I’d get it done quickly before the rage starts. I’m feeling exhausted and still running on adrenaline.

      • #116720
        Lisa
        Main Moderator

        Hi Hetty,

        It is understandable you are exhausted, you have been through so much. I hope you’ve managed to have a restful day today.

        Take care,

        Lisa

    • #116691
      FacingRealityAtLast
      Participant

      well done Hetty and all best … hope u can get some rest.

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