Am I the abuser not him?

[UkGamer]

OK so I don’t get it after years of abuse from my h i finally stand up for myself but I tell him this abuse needs to stop otherwise I’m gone he turns it round on me and says I’m abusing him.. I don’t get it? He gives me no money for myself or are son he expects me to pay for him even though he is his son too… He’s lazy and bonidle and selfish he only thinks about himself spends what ever he wonts on himself but not anyone else. If we get takeaway he gets his own out and I have to organise my sons and mine.. I know he works but eg (detail removed by moderator) he did half a day he comes back every day even full days and dose norhink with his son or asks if I’m. OK he just ever gose sits on his laptop plays games on his phone or computer.. I have to cook clean and look after are house as well as are disabled son… He texts or phones his mum with of I’m. So horrible to him she’s abusing me she’s doing this that and the others and recently it’s come to light he’s doing the same about his work who are all women who are out to get him and are horrible to him.. I don’t know what to think anymore any advice would be great

[Lisa]

Hi UkGamer,

Thank you for sharing with us. I hope it helped to post about what you are going through because of the abuse from your partner. It is very common for abusive people to twist and turn things around to say the other person is abusive and to blame the other person. Believe in yourself and trust you haven’t done anything wrong- he is choosing to act in an abusive way.

The Live Chat is available if you feel like you are in need of some additional support. It is open every day. The Support Worker won’t tell you what to do, but can discuss your situation and signpost you to other support that’s relevant for you. You can access the chat service here:
https://chat.womensaid.org.uk/

Keep posting when you can, support is here for you.

Best wishes,

Lisa

[Anonymous]

No your not an abuser your justifiably annoyed and standing up for yourself, he’s victim playing and blame switching, if your questioning if your an abuser then your probably not one, abusers don’t even question whether they are one they just blame everyone and have a poor me attitude when we are left confused and questioning was it me? it’s pure projection (they do it a lot to get away with everything) don’t let him convince you, I’m sure you’ll get more replies saying the same, in the meantime take care, your doing an amazing job let “no one” tell you any different 💜🎄💜

[Author]

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