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So I’ve got everything in place with my solicitor and my date for going was (detail removed by moderator). Really positive and determined. Until my partner was furloughed (detail removed by moderator). I was devastated. I’m still determined to get out by (detail removed by moderator). So I explained things to my son even though his dad is here. That was tricky but positive in the end. He agreed and I could sense some relief. However, now he’s acting weird, looking all depressed and not happy again. I worry his dad will catch on! I feel trapped in what could turn into a nightmare. I don’t know what to do! I feel really scared.
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Hey Optimystic, have you got a plan of getting out safely tomorrow despite him being at home now?
I imagine your son is feeling a mixture of emotions, he’ll be relieved by the thought of not being around his Dad’s horrible moods but I expect it’s still a big deal for a child knowing they’ll be leaving their familiar place behind. I know he’s grown up for his age but it’s still an anxious time.
Just remember you’re doing the best thing for the both of you. You’ve done so well in such a short space of time! Xx -
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Hey Optimystic,
Perhaps some time out of the home with yourself and your child for a walk might be an idea? Your child can then talk to you in safety and out of earshot of him. He obviously has things going on in his head so it’d be good if he could get them out but not in front of his Dad. It’s raining where I am but one can always use the excuse of needing something from the shop if you can’t use having a walk due to the weather as an excuse x
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You cannot look to your child to validate you. You’re the adult and you need to make this decision for all of your futures. Children are very resilient. Once you move he will settle into a new routine. Take that leap of faith x
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Can you leave your child with a family member or friend while you pack with the help of someone else or the police? There are new domestic abuse laws and the police should be much more aware of the dangers. If everything is in place I’d go. Your child may say something if you stay then any future plans he will be looking out for and could even get in there first and have you removed from the house. Never underestimate these men.
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This is an awful awful situation. You must feel so stressed. Take today to think through how you can do this in the safest way possible. Can your son go to family or a friend while you pack? Do you need someone to come over abs help? Could you tell your partner you’re going somewhere for a few days (appease him) so you can get some stuff out? Do you need the police to assist? I know this is a horrific situation but this is the hardest part. Once you and your son are out and safe you can start to think clearer. Nothing is better than waking up in a calm and peaceful home. In the end my ex didn’t actually put up a fight but it meant initially just packing my things and leaving nearly all household stuff otherwise that would have caused world war 3. It’s doable. Don’t panic.
Keep safe and keep posting. Sending lots of love and strength ❤️
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