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After a long period of difficulties with my husband I’ve finally called it a day. He’s had ongoing mental health issues and problems with alcohol and I tried to be there for him but every time it goes wrong for him it’s always my fault. He’s been told apparently that I’m abusing and controlling him whilst hes been in recovery and I’ve been reported to various services (detail removed by moderator). He even called my landlord to make false allegations about me having other men at the house as he hasn’t lived here for a number of months.
I’m so desperate, I’ve just been in tears all day. I called the police who said I have to wait to see them in a week and half. Surely I can’t wait that long. Social services said it was ongoing and I can only call police if he turns up here today.
We have a son together and I have two older children who aren’t here this weekend and with their dad. I don’t have any support. His mum has read and ignored my messages to her. My mum doesn’t know this because they already had a volatile relationship.
So I’m just sitting here on my own. I don’t feel safe. He went and posted loads of lies about my on social media to say I’d been abusing him. For everyone to see. Then blocked me so I couldn’t say anything.
I don’t know if I need to go and take an order for our safety as he’s so volatile. -
Yes, my advice is to take an order. Or you could ring the police back and tell them you fear for your safety and need to speak to someone urgently. If they won’t help, a non molestation order is definitely worth looking into. Speak to your local women’s aid or ring the helpline on here. Rights of Women also offer free advice. Can you go stay with someone for a couple days for your own welfare?
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i was thinking could you stay with your mum get some support? were here going through it along side you if thats any consolation. try to come off social media and your true friends will stand by you they will know your truth and worth xx the police maybe dont realise how sacred and vulnerable your feeling. its horrible take care sending you a big hug xxxx
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I’m not sure to be honest. I would definitely ring 999 if he appears and screenshot his post. It’s evidence for your order. Come off social media and don’t engage with him. Is there anyone who could come stay with you? If you leave the key inside the lock he shouldn’t be able to gain access. Meantime, gather evidence if you can. Write down his past abusive behaviour.
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Hi there SFG,
It’s not your fault, it was never your fault, no matter what he said. These men are incapable of taking responsibility for their actions and so will blame everything including the abuse on us. But I promise you, it wasn’t your fault.
My ex called me the abuser, too, but this forum helped me realise that I wasn’t. The times I pushed back was out of self defence. These men will paint us as the abusers and place themselves into the victim role, if it wasn’t so tragic I would refer them all for the consideration of an Oscar for best performance of an actor in a leading role. It hurts, it feels like our insides are being twisted and stretched and cut, but your true friends will see through his act. It sounds like he couldn’t keep up the act with your mum even if their relationship wasn’t good either. I think it might be really good for you to have your mum with you now as suggested, you have taken such a brave and big step in calling it a day and it would be really good if you could be around friends and family who can support you now.The helpline for WA is open 24/7 – please consider giving them a ring too, even if just to hear a soothing voice to help you feel validated. Keep posting on here as well x
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