I’m leaving

[Daisydo]

It has been more than a year since I realised I was no longer putting up with his behaviour and we were over, being married, owning a house together and having (detail removed by moderator) children has tied us together though and I have been hoping he would do the decent thing and leave me in the family home with the children, but he hasn’t. He is adamant he has not done anything ‘that wrong that he should loose everything. A mutual friend offered him their home to rent, very good price but he wouldn’t go. So I have taken the control out of his hands and asked our friend if I can move in there, with the children, instead and they agreed! It’s alot smaller than what we are in now and I am disappointed that he is making the children leave their home whilst he stays in it all alone. But I am feeling good, this is a decision he has no say in, it will be my home with the children, for as long as I want and we can enjoy life again. I am feeling nervous, have lived in our home for nearly (detail removed by moderator) years but feeling great I have taken control back. Must keep positive.
DDxx

[KIP.]

Well done! You have done the right thing by taking control because he would mess you around anyway and even if you stayed in the current home, he would come and go as he pleases and make your life a misery. This way it will be your space and my advice is not to allow him anywhere near it from day 1. Set your boundaries and stick to them. It will be a hollow victory for him and don’t be surprised if he offers to move out when he knows he won’t have you there to victimise anymore. Just concentrate on a new start. We often don’t like change but change is good. Change throws out the old and brings in the new. Just set boundaries and don’t tell him you’re going or he will escalate.

[iliketea]

Just out of interest, how come you didnt apply for an Occupation Order to stay in the family home? I’m thinking of doing this. Even though I would love just to leave one day, and for him to return to an empty house, for the children, for now and their ages, near to school and friends, seems like the best thing for us right now to try and stay in the family home. How come you didn’t go down that route? Im seeing a solicitor this week to talk about it. I guess it might not be possible, but thats my hope. Well done for taking back control!

[Daisydo]

I never applied for an occupation order because I never thought I could prove his actions! He has never been physical towards me but has thrown and punched things, he has been very verbally abusive and controlling. He kept saying he would leave and sometimes he did, but always came back when he wanted. This way, he can’t come back, it’s my home! I was determined I was staying in the family home with the children, but it was never ending. We are staying within the same town, the children can stay at their schools so it’s not too disruptive for them (I hope)
DDxx

[Cecile]

Daisydo well done you, that sounds amazing. I will think about you and hope your move goes smoothly. Focus on doing what is in your best interests at all times. This is how you survive.xx

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