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Quite a lot… and it’s an awful feeling thinking il never see him again I’m wondering what he’s thinking xx but why should I? Xx
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Hello Icandothis,
Thank you for sharing this.
It will take a while to move away from feeling like this, but you will not miss him forever.
When our worlds are consumed by an abuser it is difficult to adjust to not thinking of them all the time, this is all part of the abusive dynamic and it will pass eventually.
Try to keep in mind the reasons why you left and the fact that you deserve so much better, you’re doing the right thing continuing with no contact.
Take care and keep posting,
Lisa -
Hi icandothis
It’s so hard, as Lisa says when living unit we are always trying to figure out what they are thinking and feeling maybe it’s mostly to protect ourselves, so there’s a gap once free.
If I start to dwell in things I go for a walk. Listen to the sounds around me and notice colours, birds, flowers. Moving helps shift my focus.
I suddenly felt I missed him (only briefly) it’s so painful, then I realised I missed what I thought he was. Those times where he showed up as his best self then I realised they were the moments I was tricked and not really him. It’s very sad,
Be kind to yourself, it’s a rollercoaster xx
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