I’m moving out of refuge, I’m so scared

[Inneedofsomepeace]

Some of you may remember me leaving my abusive husband many months ago. We have been in refuge ever since. Many people have come and gone but I have been frozen in fear. But the time has come we have been offered a house and it’s time to move on. He went mad when I left threatening arson and murder! I am so scarred that once we leave the refuge once we have a proper address he can find us. He is currently in prison but it won’t be that long before he gets out I fear being locked up will only make him more angry and dangerous. I know we can’t stay here for ever but feel so scared.

[Serenity]

Hi in Need of Some Peace,

Good to hear from you.

I think other women here who have been in similar situations may be better at offering practical advice here, but I wanted to show my support and question whether you logged those threats of arson and murder with the right people?

If he made threats like that, I feel that there should be done injunction in place, and I don’t know if you should be helped by being MARACed?

You did right in reaching out for help here. Continue asking for all the help you can from as many agencies possible, in to help you feel safe.

X

[Inneedofsomepeace]

It was all taken to the police he was given a suspended sentence which he’s now serving for breaching the restraining order. We were MARACed but that was when I first left does that still stand?

[Serenity]

Hi there,

Yes, I recall this now.

I don’t know if the MARAC still stands. Do any other ladies here know?

Could you go back to the Women’s Aid helpline and get some advice here?

Don’t worry- there is lots of support out there, you just need to access it.

Hugs x

[Inneedofsomepeace]

Thank you serenity, i’m going to give the help line a call, i feel so guilty calling it though now i’m not with him. But i’m driving myself insane worrying about it all, i keep having this same nightmare over and over i’m sure It’s because i’m so worried

[Lisa]

Hi Inneedofsomepeace,

I just want to reiterate what White Rose and Serenity have said, you can absolutely still call the helpline and seek support from your local service in your situation. Your need for support doesn’t end. We have many calls to the helpline from women who are out of the relationship.
I also suggest to talk to your refuge worker to find out if there are any ongoing courses or programmes you can join so that you don’t feel alone at such a challenging time.

Keep Posting,

Lisa

[White Rose]

Don’t feel that your need for help ends just because you no longer live with him, so don’t be afraid to ask.
Remember it’s OK to feel scared about change and moving out of refuge is a huge change and you’re bound to feel scared.
Sorry I can’t help you with your specific question but I’m sure help line can, or even police.
Take care and keep strong xx

[Author]

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