I’m new

[Sleepy]

Hi, I’ve just found this forum after searching high and low online for a forum or online support that helps people who have been raped. As this is happened in a relationship where I was engaged and living with the man who raped me, which is what ended our increasingly bad relationship I am hoping I am welcome here and there may be others that have been through this experience.
It all happened many years ago but I only opened up about it last year and talked to someone. I am now getting counselling and working through all the emotion which just feels locked away inside still.
I am thankful I have a few friends helping me through and my faith in God is helping. I’m up and down emotionally, some days I’m just so tearful and others feel fairly normal. Some days I feel I’m never going to gain freedom From the memories but know that one day I will if I just keep going.
Anyway just trying to connect with others who have been through the same and wondering if anyone can give me advice on forgiving the man that raped me. Do others find close family struggle with the fact that you’ve been raped or assaulted? More so than friends?

[KIP.]

Hi and welcome. Rape Crisis have a great helpline of you need to speak to someone who understands. Yes, my husband was my rapist. Rape messes with your head terribly, it’s such an abuse of trust amongst other things when it’s done by someone who is supposed to care for you. I’m glad you’re having counselling it that will bring up lots of emotions, some you may have buried for self preservation. Did you report the rape. I reported my husband and it gave me some sort of closure. It also empowered me. I’m not the victim he once thought I was. So rollercoaster of emotions. Some people don’t understand and never will so surround yourself with people who validate your feelings and don’t be upset with the ones who let you down.

[Soulsearcher18]

Hi Sleepy
I am new to forum too and just getting used to this way of communicating with survivors and what I feel comfortable to share.
I just wanted to reassure you though that you are welcome here and that you are not alone in your experiences. You will I’m sure meet people who are at different stages in their recovery and who will be able to offer support.
I have found it really helpful to have a look through previous posts in the different forum topics.
All the very best to you.
Soulsearcher 18 xx

[Sleepy]

Thanks Soulsearcher and KIP. I’ll gradually look at other posts. In one sense it’s good to know other people have been through the same, though it’s heartbreaking anyone has to go through rape.

Yes I reported the rape but the police found out that the man who raped me has died in the intervening years. Which leaves me with mixed feelings to say the least! No justice, lots of unanswered questions, through glad I won’t see him ever but strangely I’m still afraid of him. Feeling betrayed as I really stuck up for him when we were together.

[Soulsearcher18]

Hi Sleepy,
It is heartbreaking I know, I feel that too but I just wanted to let you know that, in the short time that I have been free, I have met so many incredible women. Women who’s experiences, including my own are …words can’t really describe how awful But what is truly amazing is their resilience and strength.
My goodness, to feel the power in a room full of survivors learning and processing what’s happened/happening and sharing experiences- all at different stages in recovery, some whose recovery will be an on-going journey throughout their life I am sure but, it’s just incredible.
It is a silent? power I feel though, not a demanding one but it is one to watch for sure, I’ve faith and hope in that.
Stay with us, let us know how your journey’s going when you feel up to it.
Take care
Soulsearcher18

[Sleepy]

Thanks Soulsearcher18. I’ve not had chance to actually talk to anyone as yet who’s been through something similar.

[Author]

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