I’m new and unsure

[whoareyou]

Hello, I am new here. I honestly feel like my soul has been crushed. I haven’t eaten properly in weeks.

I don’t know where to start but we have separated but he is still living in the home I own and I don’t know how to get rid of him. I’ve tried solicitors and no one calls back. He contributed to the deposit of the property but I am going to give him that back.

It has been at least (timeframe removed by moderator) of this. Telling me I’m useless, having a go at me for the house not being cleaned to his standard whilst not doing anything to help, drinking and turning verbally abusive, throwing things, attempting to cheat on me on holiday, constantly walking on egg shells. He abuses drugs. He presents to the world as a successful person and a kind person but to me he is the opposite and says it is me causing him to behave this way

I still query if this is abuse and if I’m not to blame?

I feel like I’m going crazy.

[Marmalade]

Welcome to the forum. I am so sorry this has happened to you. Your ex does sound abusive . It is really positive that you have been able to get away from him.

It does sound like you need some legal advice as your situation may not be as simple as paying him back a share of the deposit. If you are married then he will have a claim for a share of the house irrespective of contributions to purchase. If you are not married then he might possibly be entitled to a share of any property value increase based on how much he contributed in the first place. Only a solicitor can confirm what he is entitled to after hearing all the facts about your situation.

Please try to get some legal advice. You could try Rights of Women. They have a limited hours free helpline for Family Law. It is very difficult to get through but worth keeping on trying as they are very helpful.  Otherwise look for a solicitor who does family law and hopefully there will be someone with an appointment available. It’s a very busy time of year for family law solicitors but do persevere so that you get the advice you need.

Good luck.

[whoareyou]

Thank you. I got legal advice and in January I will set the ball rolling it he hasn’t left. I will likely have to give him half of any equity in the house.

I keep going between wanting him to stay and wanting him to leave, even though he’s made it clear he doesn’t want to be with me. I’m so confused and devastated.

[Stargazing1]

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