Im new here (detail removed by Moderator)

[cupoftea]

Hi Everyone
My story goes like this… My ex husband moved out (detail removed by Moderator) on his own accord and took our (detail removed by Moderator) year old son with him and i stayed with our daughter . I did not agree to this but he insisted and because i just wanted him to go as well I thought not allowing him to take our son was going to make him change his mind and stay . I have suffered Domestic, sexual and emotional abuse for (detail removed by Moderator) years plus and i had had enough of it.
So since he moved out he has not allowed me to spend a weekend with my son, sometimes he refuses to let me talk to him on the phone ( he blocked me on our son’s phone and he doesnt answer his phone). (detail removed by Moderator) when i was moving to a different town ,i let him stay with our daughter for (detail removed by Moderator) as i was waiting for school allocation for her. But during that (detail removed by Moderator) he decided to report me to Social workers saying he doesnt want our daughter to return to me. some of the allegations were that i’m violent and not fit to look after the kids etc. The SW interviewed me and made contact with all other safeguarding agencies and Luckily they found no evidence, if anything the school and the DR said i was a good mother, so the SW closed the case and advised me to contact DV line and to apply for child arrangement order. i have since collected my daughter and he remained with my son.
(detail removed by Moderator) i have called few free legal lawyers but i have had a tangible advice yet. Rights of women family law doesnt answer the phone. (detail removed by Moderator) I am also waiting for CAFCASS interview, what kind of questions do they ask ? i am worried about loosing both kids. Hes a very manipulative man and im worried that he will lie to get the kids. Please help!

[KIP.]

The helpline number on here will be a good start. Also Citizens advice bureau can help too. I can tell you that you must keep all the evidence you have of his abuse. How he blocked your number, prevented you from speaking to your child. Any texts or emails you may have or witnesses to his abuse. Keep a journal of all his behaviour. If you can go to your GP and tell her about the stress all this has put you under too. (detail removed by Moderator) try your local women’s aid.(detail removed by Moderator) You still have time to get some help sorted. These men are arrogant pathological liars. Their arrogance is their downfall. They lie so much they forget their lies. Keep reaching out for help. Children 1st and the NSPCC might also be able to help. Most solicitors offer the first half hour free so you could go around a few of them and pick their brains. Using children like he does to hurt you is child abuse. Make sure you emphasise the emotional abuse he is putting you all through.

[WeAreStardust]

Hi cupoftea

my ex threatened me to take my daughter away from and has systematically tried to gather evidence (made up by him) that I am not a fit mother. Because he is also very manipulative and can give a totally different opinion of himself to people who don’t know him, I have lived in fear for several months.
This is what I have done: I got in touch with (detail removed by moderator), a charity which supports women who suffer or have suffered DV. If you ring women’s aid helpline they give you names of organisations where you live.
With a support worker from (detail removed by moderator) I have attended a legal drop in where I had an initial assessment for legal aid, which,unless your income is high, you are entitled to as a victim of DV. For me it was crucial to have someone from (detail removed by moderator) as I had no other significant evidence of DV.
If you get legal aid you can be represented by a solicitor and apply for a child arrangements order from a family court. And KIP is right, using your kids against you is child abuse.
I hope this helps. I wish you all the best and be strong! Always!!

[Author]

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