19th January 2019 at 9:37 am #70964Anonymous
Not sure where to begin. I guess it’s hard to recognise the signs yourself. Things have always been volotile. Think he has a love/hate relationship with all of us. Something my daughter says alot, ‘why does he hate us so much?’ Things have been strained for a while. To the point, (detail removed by Moderator) a row between my eldest and him. She is exactly like him, but that is in no way an excuse, as she is still a child. I found myself recording the fight. My other children were in floods of tears. Why can’t I protect my children? I’ve done nothing but think about the situation I’m in for as long as I can remember. Promises of change don’t come. Very few people outside of these 4 walls know what’s going on. I’m trying to be strong and brave, but I know it will take everything I have to change this situation. Very few people visit the house, because he makes them feel so uncomfortable. The only thing I have is work. It has took me a long time to reach this point, but now I’m scared of what comes next.
19th January 2019 at 10:58 am #70967IwantmebackParticipant
Hi and welcome to the forum. You have taken an enormous step. Realising what we live with is shatterjng, knowing what to do next, depends on your situation. Are you in touch with WA yet, they have solicitors versed in DA, so they know and understand the dynamics. Have you spoken to your doctor or the police yet. It’s awful, we know what to do but are terrified of the consequences. The law is on our side. Since 2015, it is against the law to verbally, emotionally and psychologically abuse someone. Keep your recording, I Have one I accidentally made, don’t even remember doing it, but I have the venom in his voice on tape.
Keep posting and reading others posts, we can help you through this maelstrom.
19th January 2019 at 4:44 pm #70976Anonymous
Went back to my GP last week. Suffering with poor MH at present whilst juggling work and family life. Struggling alone. Afraid to tell anyone, incase it gets used against me in the future. I know my MH is a direct result of his treatment of us.
19th January 2019 at 6:16 pm #70984IwantmebackParticipant
Many professionals are recognising domestic abuse as having a direct impact on mh, not that we are actually mentally ill, if that makes sense. Let your doctor know your fears, they can note that. Having anxiety, thoughts of suicide, worthlessness are symptoms of abuse just the same as of a mental health problem. It’s time a difference was made.its too easy to say someone is mentally ill, that’s easier to accept believe it or not, than accept they are being abused. How times have changed
20th January 2019 at 9:15 pm #71032LisaMain Moderator
Welcome to the forum and thank you for sharing with us, it must have taken a lot of courage to post. I hope you find the support you are looking for here.
I am sorry to hear about the abuse you and your children are experiencing. Are you in touch with your local support group? They can offer ongoing emotional and practical support including supporting you with a safety plan. You can find your local group here
The 24hr National Domestic Violence Helpline is also available if talking to a Helpline Worker would help. They will listen to you and can discuss any options available to you based on your circumstances. The Helpline is available on 0808 2000 247, it is a busy service but there is a voicemail to request a call back at a safe and convenient time.
Keep posting to us when you can, there will always be support here for you from others who understand.
21st January 2019 at 9:14 am #71055ApricotpoppyParticipant
I am so pleased you have reached out to us. and your GP. Breaking the silence is a major step which is difficult as we get so isolated. Have you spoken with WA they can give you support and advice going forward.
You and the children will feel so much better when you are away from the toxic abuse.
It is hard especially with anxiety but you can do it ! Theres lots of support out there, and despite the challenges lots of us are now now living in peaceful happy homes with our children. Keep posting. All the best. Apricot poppy xx
21st January 2019 at 9:42 am #71056ApricotpoppyParticipant
I was very scared about it being used against me too, so delayed getting help. But I found out if you work with a domestic abuse worker this is seen as a good thing towards protecting your children. Tell your GP you are experiencing domestic abuse so you have it on record. You can also ring 101 and ask to speak to a domestic abuse trained police officer and they will advise you. My one came to my home.
You can show them the recordings or texts which is a big relief. You can make a statement but you don’t have to press cahrges. X
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