- This topic has 5 replies, 6 voices, and was last updated 5 years, 2 months ago by
.
-
Posts
-
-
This is my first post, to any site.
I have been embroiled in this abusive relationship for a number of years, in which time I have been punched, & kicked, on number of occasions my head banged on the floor, held by the throat, and over the hob, had a gun held to my head, dragged up the stairs with my hair. Photos of my family destroyed, and beaten with (detail removed by Moderator). He has cheated on me to meet his own over sexed ego. The list is endless. All of his previous partners are crazy ( I will be the next crazy one).
Everything is my fault, I say the wrong things, I am embarrassing, my family don’t talk to me because of how I am….
I am constantly verbally abused to the point he totally assassinates my character. I am on day (detail removed by Moderator) of being ignored after he threatened me. ( Although he kept his hands to himself)
I left just over (detail removed by Moderator) months ago and came back (detail removed by Moderator) days later, how stupid I was. I am now starting to plan my next escape, and although I have no friends or family left to call on… I can’t wait.
He needs me more than I need him, however that doesn’t stop me being scared to death of him, and what comes next….
He has already warned me he will break me, find me.
He says no one believes me, what he doesn’t know or realise is, I have hospital records, photos, and diaries as evidence.
I refuse to let this man reduce me to nothing he has robbed me of everything else.
But the time will come when I am not motivated by the anger I feel and need to get out and get out safe. The time will come on the nights when I am alone and lonely. The time to remember when you do have good days and weeks and he is genuinely the loving husband.
But my sanity needs to remain in tact and I need to do this for me.
Thank you for reading my rant! x*x -
Hi Tequilla
You sound ready and I love that you’re so defiant. Be careful though. It’s a dangerous time for you. I’m newly free and just being able to sit here in peace and write this message still feels like a real treat. You deserve more x
-
Hi Tequilla, welcome to the forum, you’ll always be able to chat to some lovely and truly inspirational women on here.
Echo what Landy says, get out safely, make sure the path is clear and don’t look back – yes there can be lonely nights, but they are lonely and calm, stress free, a time to reflect and recover which is much needed. When I was with my ex I actually felt more lonely then than at any other time in life, I was scared and lonely. You can always chat on here – if you reach out – we are here for one another always.
If you are struggling with where to go then contact your local refuge / if you are unsure who this is women’s aid can tell you who they are if you call the helpline.
You say he can be a genuinely loving husband, after you have descibed the severe abuse you have received, I really dont think he can both, there maybe some let up sometimes, to lure you back in, give you false hope that there could be a brighter day though yes. Love is tender and soft, love is to feel accepted, treasured, seen and loved for who you are, when in a loving relationship it is ok to feel and be vulnerbale sometimes. Sounds to me that you are maybe holding on to what once felt like love a long time ago? You have not described love here at all, what you have decribed is control and abuse. Please leave. Being on your own is much, much better than this. FL.x
-
Hello!! Your post and your inner wars so reminded me of my story. Even though his physical abuse was not to such extreme. Plan your escape very carefully as he sounds to be capable of anything when you do try to leave. I would say call women’s aid and they could help you with a safety plan. Have you ever been to police regarding his violence?
When I tried to leave I underestimated his reaction big time. At that moment his violence escalated but it gave me a courage to make a statement to the police. (and that was my freedom ticket)
If you get those moments of doubt (which is trauma bond) while planning your escape , read your post. Your post is terrifying and there is no sense of love from his side. Control, obsession, possession, madness, but not love.
You have a fighting spirit, you will break free.
Hugs. xx -
he honestly sounds crazy, you know we get so used to their behaviour i think i for one minimised it, i think i deceived myself tbh. it wasnt until my dad (who is a very astute man) said to me you do realise you are dealing with a psychopath? i trust my dads opinion 100% it has to be said but he had to spell this out for me until i made the final decision. i needed to get this man out of my life no matter what it took. i looked at my situation through “the worst case senario” lense. i think in hind sight this was when the professionals actually listened to me. sometimes we get to a point where theres no turning back, for me i started to feel like this was life or death. it triggered my memories when he said he would break you, find you, these were very similar words that were said to me. very scarey words and not words of a rational man. i dont want to frighten you but please stay safe and let the authorities know that you are scared xx with all the evidence you have you can get this man well away from you xx take care love diy mum xx
-
Welcome to the forum, and well done for recognising that it is time for you. You seem aware and I’m sure you’ll leave safely.
As has been said, we’re here on those nights that seem so bad. We’re also here to celebrate the good ones with you too, and you will have those, even if it doesn’t seem that way right now.
x
-
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.
