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    • #117255
      Anonymous
      Inactive

      I know I’ve said it before. I know I’ve felt it before.

      But after a brand new round of “here’s something fundamentally wrong with your personality” – there’s a list, it’s substantial – I’m resigned to leaving.

      He hasn’t done this for a while. More recently his nastiness has been more swearing, snide remarks and silent treatment. But now he’s back to the, for me more damaging, critiques on who I am as a person.

      The only way I’ll manage financially is taking at least 2 jobs and working whenever possible. But that’s just how the cookie crumbles.

      The kids will suffer but if I stay they’ll suffer anyway. I find it hard operating at optimum level with his words whirling around.

      Time to go.

    • #117256
      KIP.
      Participant

      Have you spoken to a solicitor? I ended up with far more than he ever said I would.

      • #117337
        Anonymous
        Inactive

        Not yet – I’ve ran my details through the child support govt page though and that was actually incredibly reassuring. I also told a friend in person. But yes, solicitor next. Ive no proof he’s been at all abusive so I dont know how things will go.

    • #117266
      Hetty
      Participant

      It’s so hard making the break and taking on more as a single parent household but it’s way easier than trying to function when being abused. I remember having to log on to a work call minutes after being shouted and called a c?!t – I don’t even know what the trigger was. That replayed in my mind for a week then I was gaslighted and told he never said that. I’m in the very early stages of setting up a new home with my child. It’s challenging on a lot of levels but there’s nothing like going home to a calm and peaceful house x

      • #117338
        Anonymous
        Inactive

        Oh that’s familiar. When I went to a recent interview it was after some explosion. Then he called me a few times when he judged I’d been too long (saw that coming so turned my phone off).

        Making the break will be hard. I’m glad to hear you managed. A peaceful household sounds amazing! I particularly look forward to not having to constantly second guess what I’ve “done wrong”

    • #117342
      KIP.
      Participant

      Start keeping a journal and confiding in friends. You’d be surprised about how much evidence you actually do have. It’s just you see his behaviour as acceptable sometimes because you’re conditioned to x talk to your GP too x

    • #117681
      Nowheretoturn20
      Participant

      Omg! I’m in such this situation!
      I’ve got support through a womens aid and hoping to escape as im in a personally emotional abusive relationship….to an extent it’s classed as coercive control, financial and just emotional so many levels 😔 it’s so hard as I want to post!
      My situation is he uses my old alcohol abuse against me! Nothings happened in years and my daughter (detail removed by moderator)! Any help? Social services are only just getting an insight ( due to a drunken fall by me without the children- they were at my mums! ) he just keeps saying he will take them away from me as he will tell them I’m pathetic and useless parent! Xx

      • #117682
        Nowheretoturn20
        Participant

        To add he’s using my alcohol in past against me 😔 he recons if he tells family courts I have an alcoholic past he will get the children!!!I really really need some advice….do I stay ( he goes to work daily leaves the children with me, I take my oldest to nursery BY CAR and have no problems! ) how can he take my girls off me?

      • #117731
        Anonymous
        Inactive

        @nowheretoturn20 ah, my heart goes out to you. Using the children as leverage is familiar for me too. In my past I’ve had very minor, common mental health issues but apparently that makes me crazy and a possible danger to the kids. It’s grim isn’t it.

        I hope womensaid are being helpful for you.

        Hopefully one day we can look back on this as a distant memory x

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