I’m ready to leave but don’t know how to

[Funmum]

I’m ready I’m new hear and I hope you are all ok today

I’ve been living with my emotionally and financially abusuve husband for over (detail removed by moderator) years and today he pushed me over the edge and I’m done!

I was afraid to leave before I worried about how will I cope financially where will we go but I’m so fed up today I don’t care!!

Can anyone help me I don’t think I’d feel happy going to a refudge I’d rather that spot be kept for a woman and kids in danger for their life.

I just don’t know where to turn I have no family they all past away.

He won’t leave or move out so I have to go somewhere with three kids I don’t know where to turn can anyone help me

Thank you x

[fizzylem]

Good to read you’ve seen the light; call the helpline or the local womens aid charity, the number is usually on your council’s website. Maybe you could get him out legally? Unsure. You can register for social housing, or if you’ve got funds get somewhere privately rented. Womens aid should be able to offer you advice on housing. It can take a while. Like you say, it depends on the level of risk and what’s available where you are. Don’t be suprised that once he realises you are serious he will up his game and either get more controlling and nasty or he’ll beg you to stay and that he promises to change – ramping up the emotional blackmail.

You could speak to the police informally, to see if anything can be done.

It’s usually always best to plan your exit in secret – act normal as things tend to get worse at this point for a while.

Try to get some legal advice, some solictors give a free half hour, try and glean what you can from a few of these free consultations. Find out what are your rights and his. There is also the Rights for women website and helpline for free legal advice, but it can take a bit of time to get through sometimes and it only operates at certain times of the day x

[Lisa]

Hi Funmum,

Thank you for your post and welcome to the forum. Please consider giving the Helpline a call on 0808 2000 247 when it is safe to do so. They won’t tell you what to do but can talk through your options, including talking to your local council and refuge. Refuge is not just for women who are in immediate danger; many women who have been experiencing emotional and financial abuse go to refuge. This type of abuse can be just as debilitating and have a serious affect on your life. If you have no where else to go then refuge may be an option for you.

You might also find it helpful to read through the Survivor’s Handbook.

Kind Regards,

Lisa

[Author]

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