I’m ready to leave

[Need.to.get.out]

Hi, bit of background. We private rent together and have (removed by moderator) young children. For most of our relationship I’ve endured emotional and psychological abuse. It started so discreetly that I didn’t realise what it was, and it has taken me until now to realise I need to get me and my children out of this situation.

I have applied to join the housing register as I cannot afford to private rent. However before they will band me, they want documents from a support worker and from the GP. I hadn’t told anyone what we had been experiencing due to fear and wanting to keep everything private. However this opened my eyes and made me see that in order for me to get the help that me and my children need, I need to talk to someone.

So (removed by moderator) I had an appointment at the drs with the social prescriber, I had a very traumatic hour and half telling her about the abuse and we have completed a DASH form and MARAC referral. She also wanted to refer to social services but I’m not ready for that yet.

I just want to protect my daughters for now.

I really hope I’ve done the right thing! I know I needed to reach out for help but even after the reassurance today, I’m still terrified that our abuser will find out or that I will somehow lose my children.

Has anyone had a similar journey and can tell me what to expect next?

[AloneWolf]

Hi, my situation is different but I just wanted to say well done for getting the support you need, you have been very very brave. Taking those first steps is scary and draining, so please remember how brave you are!

Stay safe and do whatever you can to stop him finding out. Make sure he can’t access your phone or any of your accounts on a computer or anything like that.

We are here for you xx

[Lisa]

Hi Need.to.get.out,

As AloneWolf has said; well done. You have made very important steps in getting the help you need to move you and your children on from this abusive situation.

You are doing the right thing, although understandably you are feeling anxious and perhaps a bit overwhelmed. Do keep good communication going with the services that are now aware and helping you in your situation, as they will do all they can to ensure you and your children remain safe while you make plans.

It’s always good to also be in touch with your local domestic abuse service, who can be involved and just another good form of support for you. They are a free service as well, so use them on-going as you need. They can liaise with social services, or any other professionals involved, to make sure everyone is all working together with you in the way you need. What happens next and how that happens should always be decided by you, as you know your situation and partner best in all this. Safety is priority, so again, keep your support network informed so they can ensure this for you. If ever you are unsure about anything, you can always speak to your local domestic abuse service and ask.

Keep posting as I’m sure more women here will come forward and offer insight and assurance.

Take care,

Lisa

[Author]

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