I'm scared but I have to go

[Akasha]

Hi everyone.
I have a (detail removed by Moderator)yr old daughter. I have been emotionally and psychologically abused by her dad since she was born. Always putting me down. There was no feeling or anything else from time he said point blank a lie to his mumm that I’m not expecting (bite him in a*s because I was in work having pain and she had to pick me up from hospital) fast forward I was unhappy and found job from he tried to get me kicked on more than one occasion. About a (detail removed by Moderator) yrs ago I was so desperate to get out and away from him I run and took my daughter ( before you all jump on me Yes I know it was wrong). Fast forward now I told him when I was dragged back that I want to find my own place and we have to work it out for little one. I managed to get my place in (detail removed by Moderator) and starting to get my stuff and decorate and daughter loves her own room ( in his flat she is in room with me). Now here is my problem. I’m scared to tell him that I have my place and want to move out completely because he was threatening me on more than one occasion he will take my daughter from me. He never physically assaulted me but I cant trust him nothing he says as I caught him lying numerous times. How do I do this??? I see strong woman’s to leave and feel so shity that I am scared. I have been trough rough childhood and I just want to protect my baby. But if I don’t get out I’ll go insane😢😢😢. I feel like no one will believe me anything I say about him because he presents himself totalny different to others. He is also ex (detail removed by Moderator) and told me that he has friends who will sort out if I try anything again. Please tell me that I will not damage my daughter by leaving. I just want to be able to breathe.

[AppleNinja]

Oh Akasha, I wish I was as brave as you when you gave it a shot and ran away.

You clearly have a spirit and you’re a fighter!

I know nothing much but I know one thing: your daughter will not miss out on anything if what you have described above is the standard behaviour on your husband’s part.

He’s clearly abusive and manipulative, you’re clearly unhappy and frightened. I have a daughter of the same age as yours and believe me they know something is wrong and they sense it if mummy isn’t well. If it’s a long-term thing, the child becomes more insecure and this is a stressful situation for them. I am no expert, I’m just saying this based on my own experience of what I’m going through with my little girl.

You will not damage your daughter by leaving, you will ensure that she is free of distress.

Do not tell him where your new place is and when you do leave, take your daughter with you (although I doubt I have to say this).

Please do not feel like you won’t be believed, nowadays psychological & emotional abuse is treated as seriously as physical abuse. If you call Women’s Aid or a domestic violence helpline,they will give you a reference number. You can talk to your GP – they will put everything on your file. Keep a journal and record his misbehaviour, how it makes you feel and how you think your daughter is affected by this. All this will form your supporting evidence.

I would contact Women’s Aid before you move out, if you are concerned about his threats.

It’s only natural that you are scared if he threatens you with his friends, what a hero he is!
I don’t know how serious he is about that, you’re in a better position to judge that, but you may be advised to move to another area (if he knows where your new place is) for your and your child’s safety.

It would be wrong to scare you like this, but I wouldn’t take the risk of living too close to him.

Does he know about your new place and is it in his area?

I think that you’re very very brave and you have guts and you’re a very good mum doing everything to protect her child.

You will be enough for her.

Hang it there & please contact the agencies for advice,
AppleNinja

[endoftherainbow]

Hello, believe me you will not damage your daughter by taking her away, but staying in that kind of relationship certainly will. I ran with my children, the youngest is doing ok now we have gone and are free of him, but the older two have certainly been damaged by me staying with him for so long. If he’s threatening towards you try and get it in messages, these can be used by you to get an injunction, I was worried no one would take me seriously as my ex is a very likeable person and fools everyone, but iv had lots of support, I only wish I had been strong enough years ago, instead I listened to the threats and believed him, about what he would do if I left and took his kids. But I did it and im still here, with an restraining order, and no contact, and its fantastic!! Good luck to you and your daughter x*x

[Confused123]

Hi HUn

Log the abuse with your gp, move in to your new place if u havent already and no need to tell him where u r living. Get a non mol issued immediately so he can make no contact with u, refuse child contact as u feel he wil manipulate and emotional abuse your child or worse refuse to give her back to u to wind u up. any contact if u do agree has to be supervised with someone u trust , prefably not his family .

LOng run u and daughter will be better off. Just few weeks ago it was announced emotional abuse is taken seriously now

[Author]

Posts