Viewing 5 reply threads
  • Author
    Posts
    • #49044
      yellow daisies
      Participant

      I know this is a long shot, but I thought I’d give it a go.

      I grew up in an abusive home, my dad was the aggressor and we were the victims. I left home as soon as I could at the age of (detail removed by Moderator). I’m not a stupid girl & I know what we went through as kids wasn’t acceptable, however I have gone from one abusive relationship to the next, my entire adult life. I’m in my (detail removed by Moderator) now and I’m currently in a very controlling and unhappy relationship. I moved myself & my children to a new area (detail removed by Moderator) years ago because of the last bad relationship, and I’ve really struggled to make friends and fit in. I live in constant fear & paranoia that I’m not good enough & no one likes me, so I isolate & hide away. It makes it so much harder to leave my relationship because I feel as if he is the only person I have and if he goes I will be on my own with no support.

      Life feels like it’s become so unmanageable and I’m so unhappy. I want my children to be happy but unless I can pull myself together I won’t ever be able to give them the lives they deserve. I feel so alone and so scared. I don’t really know what to do anymore.

    • #49045
      Ariel
      Participant

      Hi
      I know how you feel. When you find the strength to leave have some time on your own without any partners to find yourself so you know you can be stronge on your own. You can do it.

    • #49046
      Ariel
      Participant

      Ps your children will be happy if you are. They reflect of you x

    • #49047
      KIP.
      Participant

      Hi yellow daisies. Please call the helpline number on here. They can out you in touch with your local women’s aid who will help you with a safe exit plan if you wish. They will also offer you support and contact with housing etc. It’s a miserable life being with an abuser but you know you deserve better. Your confidence is rock bottom because of the abuse. Abusers make us feel like we can’t survive without them but in reality we are everything without them, they are nothing without us. I’ve been where you are and I couldn’t have done it without the support of women’s aid. It’s his nasty little voice in your head making you doubt yourself. You’ve escaped abuse before and you can certainly do it again ❤️

    • #49050
      lover of no contact
      Participant

      Hi yellow daisies,

      I also was where you are now, frightened, trapped and with an unmanageable life. I too was reared by an abuser mum, and married an abuser. I got away from these abusive relationships. When the awareness came to me I felt overwhelmed and didn’t know how I would accomplish this. As KIP says get WA to help you. None of us who broke free did it on our own. Gather as much support as you can around you, including this Forum. Post and read the posts on here as often as you can. My thinking needed to change. I was too forgiving (which is fine with normal people )but with an abuser it just enables the abuse to continue. I needed the strength of others’ who had gone before me and broken free. You can and will do it.
      Welcome and keep posting.

    • #49076
      SunshineRainflower
      Participant

      Hi Yellow Daisies,

      I understand totally, having come from a mainly emotionally abusive family and having dated a string of abusive, controlling, mean, critical and disapproving men with the last one being extremely scary. The subconsious looks for someone who is a similar energy being to that of the primary caregiver who was abusive as it wants to ‘finally gain the love’ it never got and ‘heal the pain.’ Unfortunately as we all have found it it doesn’t work that way, and we have to heal the pain with support and rewire ourselves so that we are no longer attracted to or attractive to abusers. I am on exactly the same path as you, just moved to a new place, hardly any friends, feel alone and scared but I escaped my abusive ex and have a chance to rebuild my life. You can too. Like the others have said, ring the helpline, ring your local service, and look for abuse specialist counselling/therapy. I have started therapy and it feels so helpful to finally be talking about this stuff and hopefully to learn how to break the cycle. Also ring Napac, they support people who experienced childhood abuse.

Viewing 5 reply threads
  • You must be logged in to reply to this topic.

© 2015 Women's Aid Federation of England – Women’s Aid is a company limited by guarantee registered in England No: 3171880.

Women’s Aid is a registered charity in England No. 1054154

Terms & conditionsPrivacy & cookie policySite mapProtect yourself onlineMedia │ JobsAccessibility Guide

Log in with your credentials

or    

Forgot your details?

Create Account

Skip to content