I'm sick of being called a liar.

[Dobedo]

Hi folks,

Since I recently made the decision to inform the police of the full story, I’ve had everything going through my head even more than usual. I’ve got to do it, I know that, but I’m terrified of the response I’m going to get.

He always blamed me, would always make it sound like I was the abusive one. I couldn’t exaggerate how innocent and unknowingly I was when I first met him. I hadn’t even heard half the things he used to call me out loud, had never been around a alcoholic. I had no idea as to what I was walking into. It has completely altered me.

The Johnny Depp/Amber Heard case hasn’t helped at all. I know that he’ll use that as an example of how men can be abused and not the abusers. I’m sick of the crocodile tears and the manipulation.
He’d break my front door down and then say he had to because I locked the door, he’d beat me up then deny ever touching me. There’s evidence of what happened but it’s not overwhelming.
I’m terrified of what’s going to happen next, even though I what I have to do.

He’s going to twist this every possible way and I’ll remain broken

[Losingbattle]

I completely feel your frustration. My husband threw me down the stairs once. When I brought it up a few years back he played dumb like he didn’t know what I was talking about. When I mentioned it again he said I fell. Theres been other physical acts too but during an argument once he made me out to be crazy and said its women like me that give men a bad name and that everything was in my head. Men like this are very manipulative. I made the mistake of getting back with my abuser. Stay strong and don’t fall for anything he says. I think deep down they know they’re at fault

[tavarish]

Hello Dobedo,
I understand completely what you are going through. I have spoken to my therapist and maybe you can use it as well in a way to heal. She told me that I had also mistakes but none of them are compared to the abuse that I received from him and how he kept humiliating me after I left, how he lied to everyone about me. So maybe keep this in mind that you guys must have arguments like most couples do, but the abuse came from his side and you should stay strong and continue this report to respect yourself and recognize what he did is bad for you and you won’t let this happen again with anybody else.
I had exactly the same feeling, I have reported him to the police but not taken the case further and didn’t show any evidence because I am afraid what would happen after. He also told me that I was the abusive one and YES! The Johny Depp/Amber case also has been on my mind a lot. I don’t want to be in the middle of all that.
So I am taking my therapist’s words into consideration and acknowledge the situation every day more to take courage and send the evidence, but I know that she is 100% right and I am strong and soon I will find the strength to continue this report.

Hope this can help you. A big hug.

[Anonymous]

Google reactive abuse – they want the retaliation as it gives them amo but defending self or finally snapping is not the same as true abuse.

Research has proved that mutual abuse can’t exist as the dynamic is a power struggle. Only one partner is abusive – the one who needs to control.

Could you imagine what a healthy relationship must feel like?!? I can’t – I was married for years and it was the way my life was.

Now it’s been reported he is still blaming me. It’s almost funny though to read. How can they believe themselves?

Idiots!!!!

[Anonymous]

My ex is so alcoholic and calling me a liar is his favourite insult. He also says I’m abusive. Neither is true.

For a long time it worried me that people would believe all the terrible things he said about me, but in the end, everyone who knows us, including his friends and family, worked out who the abuser was. That’s the thing with alcoholics; they alienate everyone in the end.

I made a statement to the police after numerous assaults and arrests. It broke my heart and scared me witless, but my only regret is that I didn’t do it sooner.

You can do this

[Dobedo]

Hi guys. Thanks for all the messages they’ve REALLY helped. I think I just have to remember that the lies and manipulation are as much a part of the abuse as the punches and kicks- they both amount to the same thing; me hating myself and him getting away with it.

[Author]

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