I’m so so stupid

[Darkclouds321]

So (detail removed by Moderator) I did something very stupid.

I talked to him for the first time since he last attacked me. We have had no contact for a while. He has slept with someone else. That got to me as I heard about it and lead me to talk to him. Like a trap

He won’t admit still what he has done to me. Is there a way forward?
Do abusers change? Truthfully would I be safe to go back to him

Is that not completely disrespecting myself and all the hard work and emotions I have gone through since all this?

It is so hard 😔

[Bananaboat]

Are you stupid? No, many of us have gone back and kept trying.

Will he change? No.

Will he ever admit wrong? No. He might say sorry if it wins him something he wants but he won’t feel sorry and will keep it in his back pocket for later date.

You’re perfectly normal to want to work things out and not give up, and only you know what’s best for you both, but as a bystander looking in I’d say if you go back in, do it with open eyes, don’t forget the reasons why you left before and if you do go back – it’s ok to leave again if you decide to.x

[Bananaboat]

Oh and don’t feel rushed, take time to decide what you want

[Camel]

You’re not stupid. You’re hopeful. But you need to protect yourself. Be clear, to yourself and to him, on your boundaries and what is unacceptable behaviour. If (when) he does something you’re not happy with, walk away. Don’t hang around for an apology or a justification.

[Anonymous]

The good thing is your recognising the signs , we have all fallen into their game playing antics , he got you to break no contact, that’s what they do and they will try anything or do whatever it takes so you break it , god forbid we should want to try and move on from these creatures lol . From my experience they don’t change , they get worse that I believe. It’s very hard as they know what buttons to press to get you emotionally available, of course hearing what you did would hurt & upset you that’s what his counting on then he knows there’s hope as your still attached to him , it’s very , very hard to cut the cord completely and not keep going back , ive done it soooooo many times and I was like a boomerang in the end , but the way I looked at it was this will be my life if I stay in this relationship, nothing will change & I deserve better than this and I want better than this . These are the aspects you need to focus on , your wants and needs , your happiness & peace of mind x

[Author]

Posts