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    • #105985
      Cuppatea
      Participant

      Hello there,

      Only been here a couple of days but realised there are so many women over here going through the same struggle as me and I wanted to be part of this sisterhood.

      Let me begin, I got to know someone for (detail removed by moderator) months and then we got married. In the marriage there was controlling behaviour and physical abuse here and there. I have pictures of bruises. I was only married for (detail removed by moderator) months when the abuse skyrocketed. I fell pregnant and told him. That’s when his character turned for the worst. He tried and threatened to kill me and said he didn’t wanted the child. Told him to leave the house. He left.

      Fast forward, every person told me not to write his name on the birth certificate but I thought oh but he’s the father. Not knowing it was a devil in disguise. He met her once. When she was newly born. Wouldn’t let me hold her. She kept on crying.

      Then he disappeared for good chunk of time. And reappeared again but this time taking me to court.

      (detail removed by moderator)

      I can’t seem to accept it. I know he’s the father but he’s the same guy that didn’t wanted the child in the first place and wanted to kill me because of it?

      Lastly court said (detail removed by moderator) And I just feel so helpless. I want to protect her from him.

    • #105997
      KIP.
      Participant

      Hi and welcome. Do you have support from your local women’s aid? You need to gather a support network and keep a journal of his behaviour. Hopefully he won’t stick to (detail removed by moderator). Have you spoken to a solicitor? (detail removed by moderator)? The facts are he threatened to kill you. He became extremely abusive after you became pregnant which is exactly what abusers often do. Abuse often escalates after marriage too. You didn’t go to the police straight away because your were traumatised. It’s not too late to go to the police and report the abuse. He may well have abused other women. Lots of these men are serial abusers. Can you submit a statement to the court? Keep reaching out and asking for advice. Don’t give up. Rights of Women offer free legal advice.

      • #105998
        Cuppatea
        Participant

        Hello Kip,

        My lawyer has said (detail removed by moderator)

        I feel like the law has failed me honestly.

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