18th March 2021 at 10:33 am #123458
31st March 2021 at 9:49 pm #124101SupersadParticipant
I am in extremely violent relationship physical call mental sexual financial emotional.i can’t even eexplain to you how bad it is. I am not allowed to ggo out by myself.Today I have decided I want to leave but I have a daughter of (detail removed by moderator) which I know he is trying to make me lose her.i want to document things but as he goes through my phone all tthe time.it makes it impossible.is there anyway I ccould do this without saving it on my phone.
8th April 2021 at 1:04 pm #124531ISOPeaceParticipant
Hi Supersad, I’m so sorry to hear about what you’re going through. It sounds truly awful and my heart goes out to you. I think a lot of people won’t have seen your post as it’s part of an old thread they probably read before you posted.
Please know that threatening to take your child away is a very common thing for abusers to do. It is incredibly unlikely that he will be able to. Please contact the national domestic abuse helpline for support and advice.
I realise it must be very difficult to reach out while you’re under so much control and with him checking your phone. If you can, please start a post so that more people see it who may be able to offer more advice. The support on this forum is incredible and will give you strength and hope.
I don’t have any ideas other than what Living Warrior has already said, but others may have some good ideas for documenting things safely.
You’re not alone, however much it feels that way. You are so brave to post here. Please reach out a but further to get a bit more help and support. You deserve to be free of this awful abuse. Sending lots of love and strength xxxxx
6th April 2021 at 9:25 am #124364
i am so sorry to hear bout this, (detail removed by Moderator) but if this is still too dangerous for you, then i am not sure, obviously your safety is paramount! so i will give you a few ideas that i know others have tried including myself, maybe one of these will suit you.
I really do think you need to reach out to your local womens aid, i know it is difficult but they do have ways of communicating which can help in these situations.
I kept a diary, hid it under a floorboard under my bedside table, it was easy to lift and didnt leave drag marks.
i know people who have lots of paperwork for work and such and it they kept their dairies in with that, I also know people who had left things with a close well trusted friend.
i also used the local library to set up a new email account, to which i gave to those professionals who needed it, id check it once a week under the rouse of work coffee meeting. i would use word documents type them on the library computer and send using my new email to my new email ( if that makes sense).
Im sure some of the other women will give you more information on how they did it.
but i would keep texts, whatsapps etc. dont delete them. at the very least they will help. if you cant complete a diary etc.
womens aid will be able to do you a safety plan for your exit, and it would be wise to get police involvement, i had my new home flagged, if there was a call to my address then it would be sent through as a top priority.
consider having police there when you actually leave too.
i hope some of these suggestions can help you.
good luck on your journey.
7th June 2021 at 1:32 pm #126804
for any newbies that may need help…help is out there. Dont give up!!
7th June 2021 at 2:38 pm #126811nbumblebeeParticipant
@livingwarrior. Thank you for sharing this you are an incredable brave lady. Im certainly no where near any of this yet still finding my way through this mess but its so comforting to hear that you actually found the courage to get out.
Huge respect to you for that. I miss the old me and reading your post, hearing that someone found themselves again is heart warming. I hope you continue to fight and grow. Thank you for this. X
7th June 2021 at 5:32 pm #126817
Thank you, I thought I would share as I felt better when I spoke to ladies who had been there and got out and things went well.. knowing people do move on, is a gift to those who don’t think it is possible.
Yeh I agree that it’s not easy, but it is worth it!
I’m no where near where I want to be, and I have hit many hurdles on the way and there will be many more along the way… but you have to stay strong.
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