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    • #63697
      meand4
      Participant

      I used to visit this forum alot. Happy to say its been awhile. I have rebuilt my life my children are happy settled and doing brilliant. I found happyness with a wonderfull man and we have a child. We are planing buying a house things are great not perfect you know worry about car troubles money saving work.I love it. I was walking home from shopping when my phone beeps look down and there it is a notification that my EX had liked a picture on my instagram! It took my breath away and panic set in I started looking around me was he there I ran to the car felt like it took me ages to get home I ran in double checked I locked the door. Phoned my freind who remined me this is not my life any more! And to get a screen shot of it which I did I then clicked on it it was a picture of a family day out. And he has removed the like. My freind says seems like he has been scrolling through and clicked it by mistake and unclicked when he realised. So he’s stalkeing my social media???? How can this man still be making me so panicked all the time. What do I do do I do nothing and hope the panic goes does this break his restaining order am I being petty. What is wrong with me I’m happy inhave a new life

    • #63739
      Twisted Sister
      Participant

      You know him and it is terrifying. It is stalking find the notification and report it to the stalking helpline. 3 instances and he’s charged with it, I believe.

      Palladin will pass it to police if it continues, and its very easy for others to brush off what they see as a minor incident or actually nothing, but it isn’t. He has checked up on you and not only that but liked it, I’m sure hopin that it will put him back in control of your sense of well-being and rock you to the core. He knows the effect he has and it is sick.

      Warmest wishes. Ts

    • #63762
      survivorandproud
      Participant

      My best advice is to block all of his accounts and make all your accounts private, in regards to any orders or police involvement, report any communications from your ex partner. In regards to your mental health, it is amazing you are doing so well. Do not let this get you down, this is what he wants. It would give him pleasure knowing you are upset over this. The best thing to do is to completely block him out, continue not even allowing him to cross your mind, Stay strong x

    • #64129
      meand4
      Participant

      I have found out that my abuser has died! His life spiralled after I left and he was never able to climb out and it has killed him. I feel guilty that I don’t feel more sad and sad for my children then gratefull that they don’t have to ever deal with him now back to guilty again for feeling that way. I feel like I’m going nuts. His family are devistated and people ad saying what a wonderful guy he was and I’m sitting here thinking he was convicted of violent offences against a number of woman what guy do you meat and im back to feeling guilty again.

    • #64130
      KIP.
      Participant

      Please please never ever carry any guilt for these men. It’s exactly what they want us to do. He chose to behave the way he did. I’m envious of your closure. My ex still taunts me. Causes my PTSD to go off the scale and chose to move less than (detail removed by moderator) miles from where I live. So please remove any thoughts of guilt. Especially for your children. They have been saved from a lifetime of pain and abuse. My poor son is still under the influence of my ex and he’s slowly destroying him. I haven’t seen my son for a very long time because of my abuser. Close the chapter on a very terrible book x

    • #64133
      meand4
      Participant

      Last week I thourght this would be an answer to all my fears and anxiety. Now this has happened there are mixed feelings. I do feel relief that I no longer have to look over my shoulder or worry about restaining orders ending and him coming after me or the children. But dispite all his wrong doings to a long list of people now he’s gone every one has conveniently forgotten and are making out its a tradgidy and that he was a wonderfull guy. its very upsetting and starting to really annoy me. All this doesn’t really feel like closure. Thank you for your words. I’m so sorry for your sadness. I hope one day your son will see the truth. And you have your peace x

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