This topic contains 3 replies, has 2 voices, and was last updated by  KIP. 3 weeks, 1 day ago.

  • Author
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  • #114692
     Diplodocus 
    Participant

    Hi, new to the forum. My abuser is due to be released from prison (detail removed by Moderator), a sentence in which I made sure he got. My worry is him finding me or my children (not their dad), As well as moving house do I change my name, both first and last? Do I change my kids names? If I do a name change how will that effect the injunction orders I have on him, will I need to change that, pay again, and is there anyway of those changes being kept from him?

  • #114703
     KIP. 
    Participant

    Hi there and welcome. Rights of women have a free legal helpline to answer your questions from a legal point of view. It depends on what your comfortable with. I think changing your surname would be enough, especially if you’re moving areas. You can go anonymous on the voters role and I’m sure women’s aid could help you with any safety issues you may have. It would be worth a chat with them. It’s bound to cause anxiety and you know this man better than any. I chose to stay In my home, where I knew the area and had the support of neighbours and family. I felt the anxiety of leaving my safe place was too much for me. My son was an adult at the time too. I’d say not to act on impulse yet if he’s still behind bars. Think about and discuss all the options. Talk to his parol officer too. Assess the risks, listen to the professionals. I know when my ex had his bail restrictions lifted he took it as a green light to come back. So report any sighting of him immediately to the police. It also depends on the children and how settled and weighing up any risks there against uprooting them. It won’t be an easy decision so take your time and explore all the options x

  • #114715
     Diplodocus 
    Participant

    Thank you, my kids are all for moving, the house holds to many bad memories for us all. And luckily moving would be beneficial to them as we’d be moving closer to schools which would cut travel time down loads. Plus neither me nor the kids want to be at home, we’re always looking for places to stay over or just to visit so we’re not sat in the building that haunts our dreams not just our conscious minds.
    I didn’t know anything about being able to be anonymous on the electoral role so that’s very helpful knowing, thank you. I’ll also ring women’s aid and see if I can get all my questions answered.
    Thank you loads

  • #114716
     KIP. 
    Participant

    Sounds like a move and a fresh start for you all would be great. You can make it a new adventure for the kids and leave the bad memories behind you. Have you all had counselling? I found it really helpful and it might be worth looking into. You sound strong and it takes strength to stand up to an abuser. They’re cowards and hopefully now he knows you will stand up to him he will leave you all alone x

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