In your experience does it suddenly just stop

[Cantmakedecisons]

Without going into too much detail I was wondering what people’s experiences were when it comes to their partners/abusers leaving you alone. I’ve moved twice and this time seems a little calmer and I’m hoping he might finally have excepted it? Or am I fooling myself? It’s only been less than two weeks from the last ‘incident’ but that’s a massive amount of time for me without any kind of threat or contact.

[Lisa]

Hello Cantmakedecisions,

It’s so unfair and frustrating for women who are forced to uproot their lives and leave their homes and familiar environments due to an abusers ongoing harassment and control.

We know that many women experience abusive behaviour long after the relationship has ended. For survivors who have children with their ex, this can continue through the family courts and child contact.

Some women find that the abuse can become less or that they loose contact with the perpetrator when they (the abuser) enters into a new relationship, but each experience is different and it’s difficult to know for sure. Abuse is often about power and control, so when an abuser feels that this has been lost (when we have left), the abuse can also escalate, so it can be a dangerous time.

I hope that the fact that you’ve not heard from your ex is a positive sign for you. Remember you can report any threats or contact as harassment with the police if this is something you feel able to do.

Take care and keep posting,
Lisa

[Camel]

Hi Can’tmakedecisions

Two weeks isn’t very long to be certain of anything. Though I expect it feels like an eternity to you, waiting on tenterhooks for him to do something. These monsters continue the abuse for sport. If he knows where you live, keep vigilant, keep safe.

[Cantmakedecisons]

Camel. I’m constantly on high alert. I was hoping that with the chance things might improve.

[Camel]

Things may improve. He probably won’t. Currently you’re hoping he’s changed, stressing that he hasn’t. As you say, you’re on constant high alert. He doesn’t even have to leave his house. We know we can’t change them, only ourselves. Things will definitely improve if you’re able to get completely away. If you’re stuck, then being on high alert is your friend. A really annoying friend, I agree.

[Author]

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