Indian arranged marriage (removed by moderator) years

[54321g]

So heres a brief summary of my life so far- I grew up in a home with (removed by moderator) younger sisters and my mum and dad. We all watched my mum being beaten to a pulp most nights…anyway fast forward a bit and I grew up to be a rebellious teenager. I hated my dad and wished him dead every second of my life. At the age of (removed by moderator) I ran away from home as I could no longer stand it. I was somehow bribed back home and then told I was going on a ‘holiday’ to India with (removed by moderator) of my sisters. So off I went for (removed by moderator) weeks but…at the end of (removed by moderator) weeks it was only my sisters going back home as my father hadn’t booked me a return ticket. I was left behind with my grandmother who lived there and wasn’t allowed back until a year later when I was told that I would have to get married if I wanted to come back. So at the age of (removed by moderator) I was engaged to a random guy over 10 years my senior and then married off at (removed by moderator). It’s now been (removed by moderator) years and 2 children, I have been been abused emotionally, physically and verbally since the beginning. He lies and twists things. He makes everyone in his family believe that I am a bad person who does as I please and says that I don’t care about anyone. He makes me feel useless. No matter how much I do it’s never enough and it’s never appreciated. I work day and night, then come home to cook, clean, look after children but he doesn’t see any of it. I am so exhausted! He never does anything to help. While I’m working he constantly belittles me and abuses me. I’m scared to leave as I will have no where to go. I have children to think about as well as the business which is under my name so can’t just up and leave. Also, being indian means lots of family getting involved. What do I do??

[KIP.]

I think you should contact your local women’s aid for support and there are also specialists domestic abuse services I believe for minorities. Perhaps google them for support. At least the business is in your name. You should get some legal advice too. Ring Rights of Women or get a free initial consultation at a local solicitor. Start gathering evidence of his abuse. Could you afford to rent somewhere with the kids?

[fizzylem]

This is a tough situation to be in for sure, but there is help and support out there; def contact your local womens aid, the number is usually on your council’s website or you can call the WA helpline or use their webchat and they will give you the contact details. So glad you are reaching out. Perhaps you need to take the children and get into a refuge? So you feel safe and protected. Sounds like some family members will try and get involved too?

Gather all the important documents and as much money as you can. Can you get some personal items out of the house in bits atm? And store with a trusted friend? Someone not related or linked to the family at all?

You need an exit plan and WA will help you with this x

[iamme]

Hi 54231g,

Hope you’re ok. I can relate to your experiences. Sometimes you have to cut family out of your life to start to get your life back together. It’s not easy but start making plans for your safety. It took me years to get out and even now I have family members trying to get me back into the marriage that almost destroyed me and killed my soul. I ignore phone calls from family and don’t open my door to anyone I don’t trust. I’ve started getting my life back together and don’t ever want to be back in that place. My children are doing well and it was worth the initial upheaval.
Don’t give up hope or think any less of yourself as people like to make you do. Staying in a marriage like this will will kill you in every possible way. You and your children’s lives matter. I had a good friend that made me see the truth and I hope you have someone you can rely on. It’s time for you to give up on all those who have wronged you and think of yourself.

Take care, stay safe
Your sister standing beside you in spirit x

[Author]

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