Viewing 8 reply threads
  • Author
    Posts
    • #144249
      LittleRobin
      Participant

      After doing lots of reading and finally realizing what sort of relationship I am in, has anyone because of their past experiences thought of working on their inner child to avoid relationships like we are currently facing in the future?

      Or do people think that it is a load of nonsense? I am still in my current relationship but when I think about the future I do fear that I may end up repeating the same cycle again unless I seek some form of therapy.

    • #144251
      gettingtired
      Participant

      I don’t think it’s nonsense at all. I think it makes a lot of sense. If you use social media the Holistic Psychologist talks about this a lot. She also has a book called ‘How to do the work’ that I’d recommend xx

    • #144258
      IAmGoodEnough
      Participant

      Not at all ridiculous. Although I avoided it for ages because I thought it was so cliché lol

      My therapist insisted on it and it changed so much for me. I didn’t even have a bad childhood but I constantly have to watch for my inner child reaction now because it tells me so much.

      We all have an inner parent, adult and child and that dynamic inside us influences everything outside us.

      Right now I am recognising that my inner child doesn’t believe she is important enough to demand what she wants. She is so conditioned to not make a fuss or show any emotional needs that it is a big reason why I can’t seem to take the step to leave.

      Do some reading and see if it works for you though. See a good therapist if possible though. Best thing I ever did for myself
      Best of luck xx

    • #144260
      nbumblebee
      Participant

      My counsellor is trying hard with me and this but no i dont get it. I cant see her or reach her and im not sure if i even want too.
      I just dont get it.
      I was abused as a child not believed not protected so maybe thats why but im really struggling with this. Xx

    • #144262
      LittleRobin
      Participant

      To add a bit more info to my original post – I saw a tarot reader (just for fun) and she said there was a little girl around me. Did not mention this to anyone, a couple of weeks later my reiki therapist mentioned seeing a little girl around me. Then a couple of weeks later she mentioned the little girl to me again and told me that it’s me and my inner child needs work.

      Getting tired – thank you I think I need to try and read a book on it first before I pursue any therapy, just so I understand it all a bit better and won’t be as nervous.

      IamGoodEnough – glad it worked for you. Will definitely take on board your advice.

      nBumblebee – I hope that whether this works for you or not you find your way and heal. If I find some good books I will share them here and it may help you with understanding the therapy (exactly what I need too) x*x

    • #144269
      IAmGoodEnough
      Participant

      @nbumblebee that is perfectly understandable after that kind of childhood. Our subconscious is extremely powerful especially when it is trying to protect us.

      It might help to know that for me the inner child is the feeling I get in my solar plexus or gut. I can literally see her curled up there when I am feeling fear or shame. But we are all different, it worked for me but it was difficult and painful at first and I don’t have childhood trauma to process anywhere near the level you do.

      I will say that my therapist has made it clear that there is only so much healing I can do while I am in this relationship. There are certain issues we don’t deal with because he is worried about opening wounds when my home life is so unsafe.

      Good luck with it but I know you will be able to heal when you are ready and not before. It’s a process.

    • #144270
      IAmGoodEnough
      Participant

      @littlerobin I used to have vivid dreams about children screaming at me and destroying my house, laughing in my face. All stopped when I dealt with my inner child…..turns out she was really f***ing angry at me for not protecting her lol

      Good luck with it.

      Did Reiki help? I have considered it but not tried yet. I saw a hypnotherapist a few times but she was too expensive.

    • #144284
      LittleRobin
      Participant

      @IAmGoodEnough Reiki has helped a little although my therapist isn’t happy with my progress as I am pretty much in the same anxious state I have been in for a while! Trying to deal with my situation in a better way but struggling to see the light a lot of the time.

      • #144285
        IAmGoodEnough
        Participant

        Don’t put too much pressure on yourself. You will get there. You will find something that clicks and makes sense for you. There are so many healing modalities and books and advice out there.

        Personally I think I have tried and read them all. I even taught myself astrology. I already read tarot. Everything helped in its own way. But for me the more traditional therapies seemed to be the most effective with a bit of the more spiritual stuff mixed in.

        You will get there xx

    • #144298
      nbumblebee
      Participant

      I struggle to even find my inner child i struggle to meditate to calm my head down i dont know how to even begin. I know i have to take control of my own self and help heal myself but its hard when you are still in the thick of it I guess. Maybe i need to try harder learn more if you do discover any books robin please do share @amigoodenough any tips would be gratefully recieved xxxx

      • #144301
        IAmGoodEnough
        Participant

        @nbumblebee the most useful book I found around meditation is Bliss More by Light Watkins. Of all the books it is the easiest read and simplest method and the one I use most now.

        I am no expert I can only tell you what has worked for me. Firstly the whole inner child thing can be a bit distracting. Like searching for something you have no context for. I know when I first started out I realised I didn’t even know what my emotions were, I couldn’t name them or pinpoint them at all. It was like I was drowning in panic and anxiety. There is a book called The Language of Emotions by Klara McLaran which helped plus Atlas of the Heart by Brene Brown and Emotional Agility by Susan David.

        I had to be able to understand how I was feeling in any given moment before I could understand my triggers. The triggers are clues to your subconscious programming and your inner child.

        I hope this helps. I truly believe getting control of my own reactions made the biggest difference.

      • #144303
        IAmGoodEnough
        Participant

        Oh also Melanie Tonia Evans How To Thrive After N********** Abuse was pivotal for me. I will clarify though that the n**c thing is irrelevant. I have no clue nor care why my husband does the things he does. The book helped me regardless.

Viewing 8 reply threads
  • You must be logged in to reply to this topic.

© 2015 Women's Aid Federation of England – Women’s Aid is a company limited by guarantee registered in England No: 3171880.

Women’s Aid is a registered charity in England No. 1054154

Terms & conditionsPrivacy & cookie policySite mapProtect yourself onlineMedia │ JobsAccessibility Guide

EXIT SITE

Log in with your credentials

or    

Forgot your details?

Create Account

Skip to content