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I am several months clear and living alone now which is great. I’m fine with that and moving on.
ive now developed a tendency to absolutely full of rage and irritated by things I never would have before which I’m really struggling with.
A colleague dosnt finish an important piece of work so I’m doing it. Never used to bother me. These things happen. However now I am seeing a lot of this happening and realising how much I do to cover other people’s failings it now makes me mad. It makes me more mad when I have passed a piece of work over at my boss request and that person hasn’t done it and now it’s come back round to me.
other examples are people driving badly or being overly pushy with me I really bite back when it’s usually not that big a deal. I think I’ve got so used to having to defend myself that I now do it as a default setting. My ex used to get it all back from me and now everyone else is getting it instead and I don’t know why!anyone else had this. How do you get back to being a reasonable person again. I feel embarrassed after having a go at someone over the smallest of things and yet at the time I feel like I can’t help doing it! Maybe now’s the time for counselling or something. I’ve not felt I needed it before now or maybe I’ve just decided to be a grumpy person now but I’m not enjoying it!
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Hi Happybelle,
Thank you for your post. I’m sorry to hear about your situation. Its understandable that these things are irritating you- you have described those little injustices in life- where you feel you are not being valued at work, where you feel disrespected- you have a right to stand up for yourself but it can feel like you have reached capacity- that is exhausting.
You can access free online courses created by or in partnership with therapists specialising in trauma at Bloom. These courses can be accessed in your own time and at your own pace and cover topics such as trauma, abuse and boundaries.
Best Wishes
Lisa
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