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I said I wouldn’t post as I genuinely don’t know rite from wrong any more and honestly don’t know my own mind, if it was abuse or if I’m just in the wrong for everything… I don’t know where els to post.. I can’t trust my own mind anymore and don’t know what to think… my kids have just got back for seeing him and he’s passed msgs threw them again. He’s also asked his mum to ask my mum (and then me of corse) if he can have the children for longer from now on. I’ve said no.
Why should he play the perfect Dad now that they are slightly older and I’ve done all the hard work… in fact I still do all the actual parenting… I don’t want to go down the 50/50 road but if that were to ever be considered it would be ridiculous… he walked out on me over and over when I was pregnant and did the same when our baby was weeks old… He’s been back and forth in my life and so back and forth in the kids lives too. For months and months he didn’t see them at all because he was on bail for assaulting me but when that wasn’t taken to court, he came back in to my life. I tried to keep contact with me and the children separately for a while… but when we merged as a family again it was impossible… and when we were a family… he was the supposed ‘provider’ whilst I did the house wife stuff (even though I still work and he financially contributed little). He never actually officially moved back in and he would still run off to his own home when we argued… but then he wasn’t exactly a 50/50 Dad…. he acted like the provider but didn’t provide… and I would ask him if he’d look after the children once in a blue moon. He played with them and took them out, and came out with us as a family but I was the one that did all the routine stuff… whilst he sat back and watched… and then of corse he’d leave again saying he didn’t want to be with me because I was x y and z… but he always said he wasn’t leaving the children he was leaving me?!?! Ok he was leaving me but he was physically leaving them too?!?! I had to then look after them with a broken heart and pick up all the pieces whilst being the responsible parents while he was out drinking and goodness knows what. What rite has he got to play the perfect daddy now…?! Am I wrong in thinking a good dad is someone who actually helps bring the children up and doesn’t just play with them once in a while?! -
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Wow. Sounds like you know exactly right from wrong. You’ve got him worked out one hundred percent and if you were to show your post to anyone, they would totally agree. Awful father. Abusing the monther of his children, he might as well abuse them directly too. My ex was going for an oscar winning performance for father of the year when he was arrested. He wanted someone on his side and who better than the most easily manipulated of all….. his child. Lots of men on here do the same. Say they want more access then when they get their own way, they just can’t be bothered. Letting the children down again and again. At least they have you as their rock. You absolutely did the right thing, the less contact, the less he can let them down. Also, ignore the messages he passes to you. I told my son I had a solicitor if his father wanted anything. You’re doing really well. I know how mixed up you are. It’s called reality testing. Keep posting even if it’s just to confirm your thoughts. I can see a huge difference in your thought pattern. Keep going ❤️
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