Is it?

[Lilachummingbird]

Sometimes I wonder if it is just me or if it is all wrong.. I am so sad all the time. We have been together for so long and I feel like I can’t leave and a part of me doesn’t want to because we used to be so in love.

He drinks so much, spends my money on drink and blames me for being skint. He tells me to kill myself. Calls me fat and that I’ve ruined his life. He has such a temper he says that he’s never hit me with pride but it shouldn’t be like that. He tells me he would hit a woman if she had it coming, he’s said that if my dad ever tried to stop him that he would sort my dad out. He keeps me up at night watching tv when he knows I’m trying to sleep or kicks me in the night when I’m trying to sleep. If I ask him to turn it off he kicks off and says that I am trying to stop him having fun and that it is my fault he is miserable. I can’t do my work in the bedroom and spend time with him as he hates the sound of typing and I am annoying him on purpose so I sit downstairs where it is cold because I don’t want to put the heating on as I need to save money for his drink. He locks me out of the house sometimes, tells me I should kill myself, tells me he will leave me. The other day he got me to make him food then threw it across the floor and said he didn’t want it just to embarass me. One day he used a (device removed by Moderator) on me.

But I still feel like this isn’t real and I don’t know what to do.

[EvenSerpentsShine]

It sounds awful, sorry to hear about you not being valued in your relationship and your needs having no importance.
The verbal abuse is absolutely horrible, it really undermines our confidence doesn’t it until we don’t know if we’re coming or going.
But you shouldn’t feel a pressure to leave if you don’t want to.

I imagine that none of us on this forum want to start telling other women what they should be doing. We’ve all got enough of that in our lives already haven’t we.

Just keep posting and chatting and getting support that way.
Sending hugs.

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