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    • #89732
      Halfpint
      Participant

      Hi not sure where to start but my ex walked out (detail removed by moderator) ago with no explanation nothing, since he’s been gone he has been coming up to the house while I’m at work and moving stuff around and then telling everyone I am going mad he has turned my entire family against me and anyone he knows is supporting me he tries to make contact with which has left me extremely isolated. He has been trying his hardest to turn my kids against me although it hasn’t worked which resulted in me attempting to take my own life. Whenever I have things arranged with my kids he starts so we end up not doing what we had planned. I booked a holiday for us so we could get a break so he turned up at the house while we were in bed and started moving stuff around so we didn’t end up going on holiday. He also turned up (detail removed by moderator) don’t know what for but as my neighbours saw him he text me to say he was coming up to do some work although he had been there 2 hours already. Looking back on the relationship he was very controlling I wasn’t allowed friends although he never stopped me he made it very uncomfortable if I did go out so it was easier not to. He also controlled all the finances and gave me the card to my account back when he left. Just before he left he made me take out a loan for him and now is holding it against me so I can’t upset him or retaliate in anyway my. We rented a property throughout our relationship but it had to be in my name about a year before he left he kept on and on for me to buy the property as we could have it at a discounted rate I kept saying no but he said it was an investment for the kids and would barely speak to me as I wouldn’t agree so reluctantly I agreed he insisted on going on the deeds I have since found out he was planning on leaving then but wanted a nest egg before he left so used me to get money from the property so feel used and worthless he openly admitted to my solicitor that I didn’t want the house so why should I get to stay there. He has refused the offer I made and is refusing to agree to sell the house as there’s not enough money in it for him yet. He thinks I should walk away from the house and give him all the money. I don’t want to lose my home but can’t cope with him still controlling every aspect of my life he’s moved on but doesn’t seem to want to let me. I have been told on I should report to police but to scared of reprocussions.

    • #89742
      KIP.
      Participant

      You need to speak to a solicitor about an occupation order to prevent him from entering your home. Also a non molestation order to prevent him from coming to your home. Get some advice on the legality of the deeds. If you were coerced into putting his name on the deeds then a court may not see things his way. Know your rights in all of this.he shouldn’t be coming near you or your home. Financial abuse is a crime. Speak to a domestic abuse police officer for advice. Keep all the evidence you can.

    • #95794
      Halfpint
      Participant

      So just thought I’d post an update I went to the police although they were very good said there was nothing they could do without evidence. Also all solicitors I have spoken to have said as his name is on the deeds it 50/50 they dont seem interested in coercion.
      He is also still coming to the house whenever he feels like it last week he came up while I was at work and left my front door and back door wide open and emptied my kitchen drawers onto the floor. Does it ever end ?

    • #95835
      HunkyDory
      Participant

      Hi halfpint sorry you’re still going through this. So frustrating that you’re not being listened to. Try contacting rights of women for some free legal advice. Surely something can be done, you can’t live like that he’s putting your security at risk leaving doors open. Let us know how you get on xx

    • #96123
      Halfpint
      Participant

      So ex turned up again twice last week 1st time early evening demanding to be let into garden.second time turned up at 7 in the morning my son told him he shouldn’t be there and he should respect my privacy to which ex replied it’s his f***ing house and he will come and go as he pleases. Feeling extremely unsettled and scared. I know he’s trying to intimidate me and sure he’s happy that he’s succeeding, he’s just trying to let me know that although we’re not together anymore he still has control. Really not sure how much more of this I can take.

    • #96125
      snowbunting
      Participant

      Hi Half pint, Keep a written record of every time he comes to the house, his actions and take photographs of any damage he does as this is evidence, tipping draws out is not acceptable behaviour, its not normal. Leaving doors open would invalidate your house insurance. Keep a journal of how this is impacting you and your children, as this is all evidence too. His behaviour is controlling and intimidating, again this is evidence. I know when you are scared this is hard to do but try to turn this around if you can and see his every action as potential evidence for a non molestation order. x

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