Is it abuse? I’m so confused

[Starlightshine]

It all started with what I know as love bombing, although at the time I didn’t see it as that. He was so generous, he made me feel like for once I mattered. As he started to spend more and more money on me, I began to feel uncomfortable. The relationship moved very quickly, wanted to make it official within (detail removed by Moderator), started going through my phone. Then came the arguments and the sulking! If I did something he didn’t like he would literally sulk like a child. Even in front of groups of people would sit with (detail removed by Moderator). My friends now begin to see this and comment that this was not right. Then came the incident in a public place where we screamed and shouted at me, all because he thought (detail removed by Moderator). He went 0-100 within seconds. He eventually got in the car and we drove off.
He didn’t seem to care people were staring at us. As we were driving along (detail removed by Moderator). When we argue and I tell him I don’t want to be with him, he will punch his head, tell me (detail removed by Moderator). I really don’t want to be with him anymore but I don’t know how to get out of this relationship? Also is it abuse, or am I overthinking it? He can be so lovely, generous and thoughtful but also a complete nightmare at the same time. If we go to gatherings/family do’s they notice if he doesn’t get enough attention from he sits and sulks like a child. He makes me post (detail removed by Moderator), even sometimes tells me what to write!

[Hazydayz]

Oh Starlightshine. You have my sympathy. Yes, this is definitely abuse! He is manipulating you and controlling you if you give him the chance! You need to get out of this relationship pronto. I know you say you don’t want to be with him in this relationship and don’t know how to get out. Firstly, get lots of support around you, protect yourself! And Dump him! Report to police any Coercive control he tries to get what he wants. Please look after yourself. Good luck

[Starlightshine]

Thank you Hazydayz. Wish I was just strong enough to say that’s it, it’s over and walk away.

[Hazydayz]

I know Starlightshine, it’s easy for me to say and I know how difficult it feels when your the one affected. I hope you will be strong enough to walk away when you need to? Maybe when you’ve settled on it being an abusive relationship? you can then find the strength to walk away?

[Tiredandconfusedandlost]

I wish the same as you that I had the strength and the courage to get out. He sulks exactly as you describe, infact he’s sulking as I type cuz I didn’t answer my phone on time. He’s (detail removed by moderator), and I thought it would be a moment to recharge.
I was so very wrong, means I have to constantly be ready to answer my phone, listen to all he has to say n wen I talk about myself be ignored.

[Wanttobeaflower]

I’ve just wrote my first post in this forum asking similar things sulking is one of the things i didn’t mention but i remember on one occasion he stamped he foot when he couldn’t get his own way 🙁 so hurtful and damaging

[Anonymous]

This is so familiar. Mine sulks in public, he’s lost it in restaurants before and paces in front of people while I sit and apologise to staff or him. It’s embarrassing and I think they count on that because you’ll work harder to fix things. I’m so sorry youre in this position. I think knowing you want to get out is a really positive first step. I hope you manage to maintain that feeling and dont let false hope creep in if he reverts to love bombing. maybe discuss the situation with friends and come up with a specific plan to get out. like where do you go once its done. who can be with you immediately after. what do you plan incase he refuses to give up. once you have a practical plan its a bit easier to make a move. sending love and strength.

[Author]

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