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Hi all.
My eldest was given to her dad under a child arrangement order as court didn’t believe me (despite evidence) that he was abusive. He now has gotten full-time work and I’m caring for her all day but he is collecting her in time for bedtime. I can’t claim any child benefits as she doesn’t stay the night but I also can’t get a job as she needs me and there’s no one else to care for her.
Is this financial abuse?
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I think I’m going to have to stick it out for a few months to prove that I am 1) capable of caring for her (as he tried all sorts) and 2) that we can ‘co-parent’ (as they were big on that too)
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Sorry honey but this isn’t co-parenting, it is babysitting without pay! My ex tried to pull that on me too. How dare he?! How convenient to get you as a nanny to do all the hard work; not getting paid for it is on top of it labour abuse and stopping you in the process to get your financial independence and freedom.
Shared custody comes with responsibility AND rights. You are only doing the responsibility part without the rights. This isn’t fair or just. You do NOT have to prove HIM anything. You are perfectly fine as a mother and very capable of taking care of your child. If you wish to get your parental rights back as a mother you go through the legal proceedings. Do not let him hold any power over you!
I would get a good family solicitor that knows about family rights, your parental rights and fight for shared custody. It seems this is what your ex wants anyway, he clearly isn’t able to cope alone.
You get your parental rights in place and then you care for your child. Not the other way round.
Wishing you strength 💪💞 -
(detail removed by moderator). They decided they didn’t believe me about what he did to me so they gave my daughter to him. At the time I then begged to co-parent but he said he was “afraid of more allegations” and of course they pitied him and he got her full-time.. he also tried claiming that I wouldn’t return her to him etc
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Hi there SweetDisposition
I’m so very sorry you are going through such difficulties and injustices, your abuser is truly evil, I’ve read your other post in the bad days and this doesn’t seem to be a family matter anymore but about a crime which should be handled through criminal law.
Report his crime. He should be accused of murder, found guilty, charged and imprisoned, you should be compensated for the loss of your baby and your parental rights should be fully restored in regards to your other child.
You have been treated utterly unfairly by the justice system, I’m left speechless at all the adversity you have been facing and still are.
Your situation must be turned around at a 180 degrees angle. Take back the rightful place of injured party, you are the victim/survivor in this and should be treated and supported accordingly.Could you please contact Women’s Aid to ask for guidance? And Rights of Women too. Victim Support. Call them all. Tell them what you told us here. You need to surround yourself with as much DA professional support as possible. Create an army of support to lift you out of this injustice.
The ordeal your abusive ex has put you through is complex and beyond cruel, let DA professionals take care of you, let them assist you every step of the way.Were you able to grieve properly for the loss of your baby? Did you receive counseling to process it? Look after yourself, your health matters so. You do matter so dearly.
Keep strong ok. Keep going. Your situation will turn around somehow. Keep fighting, but don’t do this alone.
Sending you strength and hugs, keep posting💪💞
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