This topic contains 2 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by  gettingtired 2 weeks, 3 days ago.

  • Author
    Posts
  • #115027
     AbbeyRoad 
    Participant

    Here I am at 4am as my boyfriend lies (detail removed by moderator) sleeping and I am sat up awake (detail removed by moderator)! I said (detail removed by moderator) this was agreed and then in front of everyone he changed our plans and didn’t ask me and so now I am fully clothed (detail removed by moderator). A nice meal has resulted in him drinking too much and then telling them how much he hates living with me and it’s my fault (detail removed by moderator).This comes after (detail removed by moderator) of him not talk to me as I apparently asked too many question like do you want a coffee, what time should we leave.His friends then all jumped on me trying to reason with me to see their side (detail removed by moderator), when they don’t know for real what’s going on (detail removed by moderator) I had to take the constant conversations talking at me and my boyfriend belittling me in front of them and them agreeing with him. They went to bed and my boyfriend is asleep (detail removed by moderator). I am so uncomfortable, I am exhausted and I’m crying and now wondering if my views are so messed up maybe they’re all right and I’m wrong. Maybe this was a good night and I should just embrace it (detail removed by moderator), maybe I should move away from the fews friends I have to live nears his. Weeks of emotional abuse and then a few weeks of perfect and when these moments come again I feel so unprepared for how I afeel and I have to grab some strength from deep down to deal. I feel like I am going mad, am I seeing his actions with too much judgement, is my busy career the reason for our problems, should I move so he can be with his friends.how am I as a (detail removed by moderator) fully clothed whilst my boyfriend is snoring away!

  • #115029
     Watersprite 
    Participant

    Hi Abbey Road – sorry to hear it was a tough evening. Just sending support and saying you are on this forum and at 4 am for a reason. His behaviour is not kind you deserve so much better. Abusers mix up nice and nasty to keep us there and confused. Read the book why does he do that it makes it become clear. Re moving neare r his friends I definitely wouldn’t he can then isolate you and in my experience abusers always get worse just with bouts of nice in beteeen. It sounds like you have a good career focus on you and strengthening you ready for a kinder future x

  • #115034
     gettingtired 
    Participant

    Hi @abbeyroad, this sounds so similar to my situation. Since he moved back home from the city he lived in with friends we got a flat together in his home town/village. He hates it here and blames being here for all of his problems. Of course it is my fault we’re still not living in the city where all his friends are. He has said so many times before I’m just happy to rot away living here, how sad it is and I can go live in my sh**ty hometown and he will go back there. The worst part is i feel bad like I’ve kept him here which has made his life miserable.
    I hope you can realise this isnt you whatsoever it’s all him x

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