- This topic has 3 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 2 years, 7 months ago by
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Is it abusive if my partner does something to me sexually which I am not comfortable but have been coerced into doing so. He kept telling me that(detail removed by moderator). I feel very confused, I went along with it but I found I had tear in my eyes and just pure sadness. I feel so embarrassed by the things he does to me. He said he likes to (detail removed by moderator) in certain sexual acts specifically around choking.
He also doesn’t contribute to any of our expenses, he expects me to book the hotel, order the food and drinks. He says (detail removed by moderator). I should just do the wife duty and look after him. He had planned this day around getting me drunk so I would be (detail removed by moderator) .
After this encounter he just messaged me the next morning to say (detail removed by moderator). Which I lied and said (detail removed by moderator) after which he hasn’t contacted me and I haven’t either.
I always feel very used and dirty after but find it really hard to leave the relationship. We have a long history of this type of behaviour and more.
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It sounds horrible for you. Please speak to your local Women’s Aid or the national helpline.
People don’t ‘just leave’ an abusive relationship. We escape. It’s the most dangerous time, and it’s far safer to make a plan with the authorities who understand.
None of this is your fault. Please start reaching out for help and keeping some sort of diary which your partner can’t find.
Your partner is sexually assaulting you and raping you. You may find Rape Crisis a good resource. They are a fantastic organisation.
YOu don’t have to do this on your own. Keep posting. It’s not you. It’s him.
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Hi SmallSteps@aTime
I just wanted to show you some support, I can see that Maddog has given really helpful advice, it’s a good idea to speak to Rape Crisis for support https://rapecrisis.org.uk/ .
It’s not your fault at all, you are being pressured into things you are not comfortable with so this is not consent, this is sexual assault and rape. It’s not ok to get you drunk so he can assault you further, you can’t give consent when you are drunk. It sounds like he is also financially abusive to you, it’s not fair that you are paying for everything. You deserve so much better.
If you haven’t already, you could contact your local domestic abuse service for some support to help you and explore your options, you can find your local domestic abuse service here: https://www.womensaid.org.uk/domestic-abuse-directory/
Take care and please keep posting to let us know how you are,
Lisa
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Hey I just wanted to reach out. I can definatly relate to what you are going through and say me too. Here you are most certainly not alone.
Im the last person who should be giving anyone advice but im gonna anyway sweetie, you have been so brave coming on here and sharing your story what he does to you is most certainly not your fault and you are not to blame. You need to take another step foward and contact womans aid you can chat online without giving your name but at least you can start to get yourself some help.
You should not have to put up with this and you deserve so much more. Be brave and reach out again and get some advice and help.
Sending you hugs stay safe xxxx
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