Is it normal?

[itmustbemesurely]

I left my ex (detail removed by Moderator) years ago, we are still married and he is now in a new relationship and has a baby. He, as abusers do, moved in with her after (detail removed by Moderator) months and had a baby soon after that and is love bombing – changed his life to mirror what she liked to do even down to music, what he wore, how he speaks….any way I didn’t proceed with divorce because of his behaviour – I didn’t want any more stress or contact with him.

He has blocked me from everything and communicates with the children directly – which is fine and better for my mental health as he continued to be abusive in speaking to me, swore, called names, belittled – the usual – he has moved on and doesn’t give a s”t about me…the thing is I am in a huge state of anxiety because he as instigated divorce proceedings and I now have to deal with stuff related to him albeit indirectly. I feel like I did those years ago and am like a rabbit in the headlights, I’m taking medication for my anxiety eating well and exercising but as we are in lock down I can’t distract myself as easily – has anyone else found this difficult, I feel trapped again and controlled. Any advice appreciated.

I am also cross that his life has gone up, he’s started a new chapter, seems happy yet I am left a wreck still after all these years…I am cross with myself and it seems unfair that someone can threaten to finish me off gets to be ok.

[Darcy]

Hi my beautiful Angel,
I can understand that the divorce has come as a shock, however maybe this is actually the perfect time for you to set this part of your life free and release yourself from each other. As sometime has pasted since you split up you are bound to be a lot stronger than you think you are, and a lot of the time the thought of doing something is a lot worse than actually doing it.
Your are doing exactly the right thing by investing in yourself with your exercising and healthy eating, I would recommend to continue to keep investing in yourself worth and self love work. You are going to need to be strong from the inside out to weather this storm… but remember the sun will come out and shine again.
Get all the information you need in order regarding the divorce and keep it all formal and business like, even if you are hurting and want to throw in a cheep shot… don’t. Retain your dignity, stay professional and remember how far you have come, the divorce is a victory in getting him out of your life.
As for him moving on, I would say all that glitters is not gold and even if it is do not waste your energy focusing on his life that you have no part in. You have invested too many years (and tears) in this man … it is now time to invest in yourself and your wonderful new life ahead.
Sending you love and support
Darcy xx

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