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    • #91602
      HunkyDory
      Participant

      Hello ladies, it’s been a while since I posted. I hope everyone is ok and keeping strong. There’s no sign of my appointment for EMDR after a number of months. I think I’m doing ok. I took a new job which is probably too stressful and with a boss who is a “friend” but seems to be gaslighting me… now the scales are off it’s easy to spot.

      But that’s not why I’m posting. (Detail removed by moderator) he is free to come back until early in the new year. There’s nothing I can do about it. I really don’t know if he will. I absolutely think he would try to harm me if he did. I let the police know a few months ago about my concerns and they said just dial 999 if he shows up.

      It might be that on my mind, but I’m getting increasingly anxious at home. Every time I walk into a room I imagine him there. In bed when I go to the bedroom. Outside when I open the back door. When I’m drying my hair I imagine him appearing behind me in the mirror. I feel jumpy all the time. I thought it would have eased by now. I’m wondering if what I’m experiencing is a form of PTSD? I’m still on meds and they do seem to be working but these paranoid feelings won’t go away.

      It’s (detail removed by moderator). I’m trying to stay busy to keep it off my mind.

      I’d appreciate your thoughts? Xx thank you xx

    • #91604
      fizzylem
      Participant

      (Detail removed by moderator) knowing he’s out there and could turn up of course you’re going to be stressed and anxious HD. I would suggest calling the helpline to see if there are any things you can do that could help you to feel safer, there maybe some things you’ve not thought of that you could put in place? But, at the end of the day, it’s also wise to be on alert – just not on high alert all the time, more subconciously ready if it happens, meaning you know what to do if needed – so it’s not disturbing you and invading your every thought.

      PTSD is the medicalised term for trauma, you know you experienced trauma, you know what you are feeling feels like a trigger, a reaction to your thoughts and re-living parts of the trauma, the very thought of him invokes allsorts of painful, anxious, traumatic feelings. Pull in your support sweetie and call the helpline if needed. Yes these therapies help, but ulimately you need someone to listen, someone to help you work through what it is you are trying to make sense of, so it makes sense again, any good listener can help you with this while you’re waiting for therapy. Ive called the samaritians a few times in the past when Ive not been able to get through to the helpline, they ahve always helped me to work out what I need to do and feel a bit better. Victim support is another good one x

    • #91611
      HunkyDory
      Participant

      Thanks fizzylem, your reply means a lot. I have no one to confide in apart from you ladies. Lost contact with friends, I tried to reconnect but understandably they’re not really responding. Family have their own issues to deal with and I don’t want to burden them more. Maybe I.l speak to the helpline. I’m just feeling a bit lost. The date and all it meant are haunting me tonight. Thank you xx

      • #91653
        fizzylem
        Participant

        HD, how you doing today?

        I dont have folk to confide in face to face in my every day life unless I’m in therapy and I’m not right now, but I keep my mental health well by talking to the women on here, the helplines and I have a local womens aid support worker who is just brilliant; I’m also intouch with a woman I’ve made friends with on here and we talk, you tried this? Obs some women wont but some do. I think we can only talk to people about the abuse who get it, so other women just like us or the profs and no one else really – but that’s enough, because that’s all you need. You don’t need anyone else for this – this is all the support you need for the abuse; obs counselling can help as well.

        I know we dont always feel like socialising, but your freinds and family can meet your needs in other ways, someone just to be with, to tag along with maybe, when youre struggling, you don’t have to tell them what’s bothering you, sometimes just being with someone else and doing what they’re doing can help, could you volunteer your help? For small things?

        How would you feel about trying to reconnect with a friend or two to do something, anything, and not talk about whats happened or where you are atm at all? Being surrounded by people can help you to feel safer in the world chick, it also shows you that you can call when you need to, because at present it sounds like you feel you dont want to bother people. You dont need to let these people know you need some company sometimes – just call to arrange dropping in, might help – different people give us different things hey, meet different needs. Big hugs to you being sent with mail x

    • #91621
      hop
      Participant

      I hope that you got through the night ok. I’m not surprised at all that you feel the way you do. Living in fear of someone when you know what they’re capable of and just being told to call the emergency services. I’m not surprised you see him everywhere. Take care of yourself 💖 I hope today is better x

    • #91632
      HunkyDory
      Participant

      Thank you FF, I’m looking after myself today and taking it easy. Trying not to think, I’m sure I’ll get there, just want this to end, I’ll feel better in the new year when I know he can’t get to me. Xx

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