Is my néw relationship controlling too?

[Abovewater]

My last relationship was controlling; gaslighting and coercive control was an everyday thing. I finally got the courage to leave but he wouldn’t leave me alone so with the help of my local DVU I successfully got (legal detail removed by Moderator). Long and short – now in another relationship and I think ive managed to find a similar character although question my judgement sometimes  I kind of need your views on his behaviour as I don’t want to make the same mistake again 🙁

When we met, within (timeframe removed by Moderator) he told me, he had asked a contact to check me out – there are 3 levels of checking including following and checking bank accts etc – he said he had only opted for level 1 as just wanted to check I was who I said I was. Month (timeframe removed by Moderator) he admitted to buying a tracker for my car but assured me he hadn’t used it – an error of judgement as he was insecure! Month (timeframe removed by Moderator) he admitted he had lied about getting me checked out at the start and was only ever joking – a story that was mentioned a few times and in my opinion was never a joke  (timeframe removed by Moderator) ago I was ill and he suggested I take (specific detail removed by Moderator) – I said no as it knocks me out and I needed to drive the next day  Turns out he had put in my drink anyway – only knew when I confronted him when I spotted the empty (specific detail removed by Moderator). He wants to spend every minute with me and I’m feeling smothered.

[Bananaboat]

I think you know the answer already sadly, yes there’s some big red flags here and it doesn’t sound like a good start for a safe, happy, trusting relationship. You deserve better x

[Reallyconfused]

Get out while you can. I agree huge red flags. Putting stuff in your drink, controlling your emotions, etc. this man will only get worse.
Deep down your instinct and feelings are telling you this is not right.
You deserve much better.

[Abovewater]

Thank you, I knew it but didn’t want to accept I found another bad one 🙁  x

 

You are right, I deserve better, we all do x

[Author]

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