Viewing 5 reply threads
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    • #119140
      lpldja
      Participant

      My husband moved into my house when we married, but then just complained about how he hated living in the town and that he would never be happy while we were living there. He just went on and on, until I felt that I had done something wrong by buying a house there (before I met him) and that his unhappiness was my fault. He made me cry sometimes. Is this abuse?

    • #119142
      KIP.
      Participant

      Yes it’s emotional abuse. They don’t need an excuse and if it wasnt the house he would have abused you over something else. Abusers like to make us miserable. It makes them happy. They are like vampires. They suck the happiness out of life for us. You wouldn’t believe a person who is supposed to love you would deliberately hurt you but they do x he could easily have talked about it before marriage. Offered a suitable alternative, compromised. Many abuser change after marriage once they feel they have trapped you. Then you get to see their true self x

      • #119157
        lpldja
        Participant

        Thank you that’s very helpful.

    • #119360
      Soyalakemeya2
      Participant

      Sounds like it to me

    • #119380
      GreenSapphire
      Participant

      Abusers will often start abusing or ramp up their abuse of you after a significant milestone in your relationship: becoming pregnant, having a child, moving in, getting married.

    • #119381
      Hetty
      Participant

      Ask yourself if there are any valid reasons why he suddenly hates where you live. Why did he move in there in the first place? My guess is it’s power and control and/or to get you away from support networks. If it wasn’t this it would be something else. Keep a journal. You’ll see patterns. It sounds like your gut is telling you this is not right and that’s why you’re on here. Trust your gut instincts xx

    • #119386
      maddog
      Participant

      My ex did the same from the outset. He hated where I lived and complained about it from the outset.

      These days he takes his current victim to my old stamping ground as though he’s living in my shadow. It’s really weird. He did the same to me with his first wife! Yuck.

      I moved house to my ex’s city, and hated living there. Abusers will do whatever they can, however below the radar to remove you from your safety.

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