This topic contains 1 reply, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  Anonymous 4 days, 1 hour ago.

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  • #97645
     Anonymous

    Hi, I am new on here & am in such a dilemma. For (removed by moderator) years, I have been in a relationship with a man of a different nationality (from Eastern Europe). It started off very passionate & I have visited his country several times & met his close relatives. We moved in together very quickly,starting off in a room as I was going through a divorce & didn’t have enough money to rent a home. During this time,he showed aspects of controlling behaviour, scolding me for ‘being emotional (I had periods where I felt low) & I sulting me if I cried, calling me a baby etc. I was struggling financially& he said I couldn’t go on holiday with him if I didn’t have enough money. A year later, my divorce settlement was awarded & I was able to rent a flat which needed a second bedroom for my adult son to come to stay (he has a learning disability & is living in a supported living flat. My partner refused to contribute halfway,even though he was earning more than me & I ended up paying rent in advance to secure the home. I have stayed with him because I love him & really wanted to make this work. We have really good times but, if I dare to voice anything that I feel unhappy about eg finances (reasonably), he gets defensive & says ‘Go back to your ex if you are unhappy or find a rich man’& the insults start. He is well educated but is held back by his language- this results I him being frustrated at work. There is more I could say but it would take too long.

  • #97646
     Anonymous

    Basically, is this emotional and/or financial abuse? I have paid for two holidays & many other things. He cleans & cooks for me & is really affectionate at times but can be so horrible when I ‘annoy’ him. There is no physical abuse (he abhors it & he doesn’t drink as he has seen the damage that causes). He has never married or had children & he is not verbally abusive to my son. I tell myself that maybe I am overreacting as I have suffered from anxiety & depression on & off for several years. We have several things in common despite our different nationalities and, despite the problems, Ivannot imagine myself with anyone else but I feel uneasy &, at times, confused.

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