2nd February 2021 at 4:18 pm #120901
I left last year
Police were not interested
Ttoday a forwarded letter arrived from ex clearly saying that he Googles me, knows I changed my name and where I am working
Is this harassment? Do I go for a none molestation order?
Its really set me back
3rd February 2021 at 9:15 am #120945LisaMain Moderator
I just wanted to show you some support. I am sorry to hear about what you have been through. It must have been difficult for you receiving that letter and concerning that he knows all this information about you.
If you are considering a non-molestation order, you may also wish to contact Domestic Violence Assist (a specialist injunctions service) on 0800 195 8699 (24/7), http://www.dvassist.org.uk/<http://www.dvassist.org.uk/>
You could also speak to the National Stalking helpline for some advice 0808 802 0300.
Take care and keep posting,
3rd February 2021 at 9:39 am #120947
Hi there, Id say it’s definitely harrassment and threatening and I’d report it to the domestic abuse unit of the police. You can also ring the national domestic abuse helpline and your local women’s aid for more advice. Putting you in a state of fear and alarm is illegal. You’ve already reported him to the police so they will have that on record. Don’t reply or try to contact him (not that I think you would). Just let the police deal with him. I’m not surprised it’s set you back. Try to remember you’re stronger now. Not in the same pod when you left. It helped me to report and take back control. Ask for the domestic abuse unit as the have more training and experience. You can also ask your local woman’s aid to support you in reporting. This kind of behaviour is dangerous from him because he’s not taking no for an answer. He wants a response and I’d be concerned his behaviour will escalate when he doesn’t get one so stay alert. Keep your mobile on you at all times fully charged x
3rd February 2021 at 9:48 am #120949
I really doubted myself
He put return to sender on it (detail removed by moderator) then this whole diatribe about my new surname and where I work etc.
I really couldn’t tell if its stalking or not as they didn’t believe me at all they saw the messages and emails but nothing
3rd February 2021 at 10:09 am #120950ISOPeaceParticipant
Reading your post gave me chills – definitely harassment! It’s intended to make you feel unsafe, which is what abuse it all about. There’s never an excuse for abuse, but this action can’t be seen as an impulsive reaction (I mention this as some people less knowledgeable about abuse see reactive behaviour as more understandable), it was planned and calculated. Definitely reach out to the support services mentioned by others. Sending love xxxx
3rd February 2021 at 10:59 am #120955
The police had me doubting it
The stuff they saw makes him not very nice but it isn’t a crime
There were threats etc
Stalking helpline is closed until 1 trying to check with womens aid then non molestation order I think though I don’t know what it would cover.
I changed my number
The rants on the outside of letters is the only way he has of contacting me
3rd February 2021 at 11:03 am #120956
Try the police again. Domestic abuse. Why should you have to get a non molestation order for something the police should be doing to protect you. It’s an ongoing pattern of behaviour.
3rd February 2021 at 11:13 am #120957ISOPeaceParticipant
Have you tried calling 101 and spoken to a domestic abuse officer? Sorry if that’s really obvious but I’ve heard you need to speak to the right people and won’t necessarily get passed on to the right person unless you ask. Xxxx
3rd February 2021 at 11:27 am #120959
I don’t trust them following last time
3rd February 2021 at 11:38 am #120961
They are not all the same. Please don’t let that put you off. I had a terrible officer then the next one was tremendous. Your ex will be counting on you not involving the police. You could contact your local women’s aid and get them to talk to the police on your behalf. They may be able to put a police marker on your home and your phone. Things are moving in a dangerous way for you with your ex and you need to reach out. Don’t let a couple of rotten apples ruin the barrel. There are good officers.
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